James Lileks: Worst Rock Song Ever? Give This a Spin

The Minneapolis/St Paul Star Tribune ^ | April 25, 2004 | James Lileks

[Luis Gonzalez]

"Billy Don't Be a Hero"
"99 Luftballoons"
"One Tin Soldier"
"Fernando"
"Eres Tu"
"Sixteen Little Red Noses and a Horse That Sweats" (yes, that's a song)

[Hand em their arse]

No one's mentioned "Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life"???

[Peter J. Huss]

'Muskrat Love' by Captain and Tennille

With all due respect, 'Muskrat Love' is a great song.

[reagan_fanatic]

Rap. Definately a rap song.

Sorry. Rap would have to qualify as actual music, which it is not.

[jocon307]

"Wildfire," a song about a girl who runs around shouting out her horse's name after he ran off."

Oh cripes, I had forgotten all about this song, and how very much I hate it! LOL, ack, it's in my brain again now! I actually once seriously considered breaking up with a guy because he revealed to me that he liked this awful song. Ohmigosh, I'm ill all over again.

However, for the worse rock song of all time I must nominate one, and at the same time give it an exemption. My most hated rock song of all time is "Roxanne" by The Police. I will lunge across the room to change the station if that song comes on. Why do I hate it so? Because it is such a pale imitation of that great and ill remembered song "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town" by I don't know who.

The exemption? Roxanne as used in "Moulin Rouge", which forced the true quality of the song out, like squeezing a piece of fruit to get the juice. How much I like "Roxanne" in Moulin Rouge proves to my satisfaction that Baz Luhrman is truly a genius.

[highlander_UW]

"Havin' My Baby"

Scary! This was one of two songs that immediately came to mind, the other being "You're So Vain".

[luvbach1]

Agree. It's rap crap hands down. But is it music?

[nuconvert]

LOL!
Good list.

I have to nominate this, too


IT MUST BE HIM
Vikki Carr

[Bismarck]

You can't make a "worst songs" list with songs you dislike... A bad song is a song that doesn't sell. Period.

[RightWingAtheist]

If there is one rap song which should be singled out, it should be "Do the Bartman." Worst...rap...EVERRRRRRR!

[Jape]

No question the winner is: Run, Joey, Run

Daddy, please don't, it wasn't his fault
He means so much to me
Daddy, please don't
We're gonna get married
Just you wait and see.

[FreedomCalls]

Here's three:

"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" by William Shatner.

"Mr. Tambourine Man" also by William Shatner

"Star Trekkin' Across the Universe"

[daler]

'Muskrat Love' by Captain and Tennille "With all due respect, 'Muskrat Love' is a great song."

Actually, I kinda felt the same way about "Midnight At The Oasis." I thought THAT was a great song.

I think I've figured this all out, though.

One's idea of a "great song" has much to do with what or whom one associates said song.

In my case, "Midnight At The Oasis" is associated with a blonde name Dawn, Yankton South Dakota, circa 1974, whereas that awful "Love Will Keep Us Together" song reminds me of Jimmy Carter.

Think I might be on to something?

[FreedomCalls]

it is such a pale imitation of that great and ill remembered song "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town" by I don't know who.

That would be Kenny Rogers.

[philo]

CASH BOX TOP 100 SINGLES

Week ending January 17, 1976

1 CONVOY

C.W. McCall (MGM 14839)

So by your logic this is a good song since it went number 1

[cannon fodder]

billy paul?

[Hand em their arse]

Can anyone listen to "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow" without absolutley losing their lunch anymore???

[SFConservative]

"Mrs Jones" by Dr. Hook and the Mwedicine Show.

Never heard of that ... do you mean "Me & Mrs. Jones" by Billy Paul?

[eternity]

Good post for a Saturday nite. So far 2 songs mentioned I like. One Tin Soldier and Midnight at the Oasis. But with out a doubt "Having My Baby" belongs in the worst song list.

[Kadric]

Video Killed The Radio Star