You Know You Are A Freeper When.....

April 13, 2004 | LadyShallott

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are A Freeper When......

You have family members post for you because you have lost all sensation in your right hand from to much mouse usage.

You aren't sure what this "daylight" thing is, but you know you haven't seen it since 1998.

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker.

You spend your time finding pictures of John Kerry & morph him into a two-headed ketchup alien.

You try to figure out a way to write a program that would allow you to make love with your spouse and read the breaking news at the same time.

When you and your spouse get into an argument it comes out "Removed by Admin. Moderator".

You asked for a wireless connection at your baby shower. Who needs a baby monitor? Watching the baby and posting is just FR practicality.

You have picked out not only your child’s name, but their screen name for future use at Free Republic.

You told your spouse you were pregnant by listing it under “Breaking News”.

You have shunned the Atkins Diet and chosen to go on the “Freeper” diet: Coffee, smokes, and target practice.

You want to sit in a cage at a PETA rally while smoking, eating a hamburger, drinking coffee and hand out Free Republic coffee mugs.

And last but not least……..

You know you are a married to a Freeper when you can talk about anything going on in the world, you display the American Flag with pride, and you pray for the Troops defending this great country. Chance 33_98, I love ya!

[Howlin]

That is too funny!

[chance33_98]

You told your spouse you were pregnant by listing it under “Breaking News”.

Let's just hope next time you don't get pregnant in an old RV while camping and then deliver the baby while watching Jerry Springer at the hospital.....

[#1CTYankee]

Not sure if you are kidding or not. My husband would be in trouble if that happened. But true Freepers never slack. War breaking out and a new birth...Oh the Conundrum. LOL

Nope, not kidding. Search for a Post entitled "Having A Baby."

[LadyShallott]

I will, thanks for sharing that. A Freeper Birth! Awesome!

[LadyShallott]

SSSHHHHHHHH. You weren't supposed to say that. So what if she is a Jerry Springer baby? I was in labor....I couldn't change the channel. What's your point? LOL. Someday we will tell her about the 9:14 a.m. Jerry Springer birth. But I swear, I would have rather watched the Discovery channel. I make no apologies about the old RV. We caught some great fish and became parents to boot. Who could ask for a better vacation?

[LadyShallott]

BUMP

[LadyShallott]

*Just For Fun Ping*

*I'm Sorry If you have been pinged or posted on the thread

[LadyShallott]

*Ping*

[DBrow]

..when you are in a "real world" discussion and realize you want to link to a 300 page government report to prove your point.

...when nobody you eat lunch with knows what "sheeple" are.

[Billthedrill]

You have shunned the Atkins Diet and chosen to go on the “Freeper” diet: Coffee, smokes, and target practice.

I'm on a health kick - I substitute "beer" for "smokes." I've worked "Visine" in there as well...not too many calories...

[cyborg]

I knew it was bad when I looked for a phone cord instead of candles during the blackout *LOL*

[cyborg]

I've done that... and instead of going for a glass of water or the bathroom I run downstairs and look at the computer... sheesh.

[reformed_democrat]

I had already bought 5 bumperstickers from ProtestWarriors to stick all over the giant smilie as I left.

A perfectly reasonable response, if you ask me.

[VRW Conspirator]

All your ducks are belong to us! LOL

[chance33_98]

Ping

[HungarianGypsy]

How about when at a restaurant you think about complaining to the management that they need to change to a new ketchup brand?

[HungarianGypsy]

BTW, my husband now says he never needs to pay attention to the news, because he's got his own personal news updates whenever he talks to me. I went for a week without saying anything after he mentioned that and about exploded with no one here to share current events with.

[Woahhs]

How 'bout when you have a desktop in the living-room, a laptop for the (ehem) "library," and a net-phone for work and transit?

[NYC GOP Chick]

I sent my liberal sister the hilarious "Caption this, John Effin' Kerry rockin' out on the guitar" thread started by NYC GOP Chick. My sister didn't seem to think it was that funny. :)

Those earnest libs have absolutely NO sense of humor whatsoever. I mean, I used to be amused by a few (a very few) of the more clever anti-Bush spoofs back in 2000 -- provided they weren't too crude.

[Woahhs]

Or even - you watch the evening news and you suspect they are reading your FR threads as they finally reported a story you posted awhile back.

Or how 'bout when the wife askes you to explain "what's going on" and she works in TV NEWS!