Posted on 04/11/2004 12:05:58 PM PDT by Engine82
I've had ENOUGH!! OK, I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!
Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement.
The Code :
A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "*****" in the title. Example..."***** Eye for the Straight Guy" The censor took care of this 'un...
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.
Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (heck, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !
Pass it on...............
You DEAL with it. Weren't you reading?
Æ
Not all short men are ignorant and obnoxious.
But so many are, that the stereotype continues.
If you are asking me why short men are usually so ignorant
and obnoxious, I have to admit I have no idea.
Why do you hate men so much? What you said is totally unfair. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Do you hate black people, too?
You're right. Those 2 comments alone don't show the full extent of your contempt which is evident throughout this thread.
Sorry, I'm not into that stuff. You apparently know more about that lifestyle than I do.
I echo the sentiments of B4Ranch. You exhibit nothing worthy of respect on this thread. Keep looking for your compass. When you learn how to use it, perhaps then you will find direction.
Well, sorry to disappiont you, girls. I don't hate women, I just don't take them seriously. Even when they throw themselves into an uncontrollable rage like you and your Freeper Feminist Hit Squad pals have managed to do on this thread, I still don't hate them.
Avoid them, yes. Hate them? Nope. Not worth my energy.
Again, you show your contempt. Perhaps if you tried treating women with respect you might find even the clueless have some value beyond the bedroom.
Quick, marry her!
My wife came with her own set of guns and powertools. We've been married fifteen years now. Never underestimate the value of a woman who understands "guy stuff".
Back when I bought a brand new silver 1993 twin-turbo RX-7 (when that model first came out) two-seater sports car with the factory Bose Acoustic Wave stereo and sunroof, etc., several people asked me how I talked my wife into buying it. I truthfully answered, "she wanted it as much as I did, maybe more."
She was also the one who kept renewing my Playboy subscription (until that magazine went downhill and became too monotonous to bother with anymore).
Hear hear!
Respect is earned. I am courteous with women. I don't shower them with respect simply because they were born with a vagina.
WATCH OUT! I woke up one night to find that my girlfriend was trying to use her power tool on me.
Fair enough. However, I was raised to show respect to everyone until they demonstrate they are not worthy of my respect.
Respect, courtesy, I guess it's a question of semantics. I am actually a very nice guy, probably one of the nicest on the planet. Too nice for my own good most of the time. But when it comes to my opinions on relationships, I won't back down. And I've been called some of the most vicious, vile, venomous names imaginable on this thread for stating my opinion.
I'm not a "wife-beater" type, I would NEVER physically abuse a woman. I just don't cater to them like a lot of men. That's the way I am.
So, with that, I'll leave this thread. I've used too much emotion and time on it already. You have your opinions, I have mine.
Have a nice day.
The sad fact is that many women with low self esteem are attracted to men who treat them like sh*t because they fear that someone they really like will discover that they are unworthy of him (in their opinion).
Treating a whore like a lady could be the worse thing you can do to her. They can't take the stress of trying to live up to the image that a good man has of them.
Excuse my French, but in this instance, I believe it's called for. That's complete and utter bullshit. A larger crock of which I don't think I've ever seen.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.