Of course we know that such "philosophers" are heretics. It's definitely turtles all the way down.
BLASPHEMER! We StationaryTurtletarians denounce your cult of false prophets, and call upon the Great Tortuga to furiously smite those who would spread these heathen lies, and cast them into the Frogpond of Everlasting Fire(tm).
And please visit our website on "Scientific Turtleism", which has nothing whatsoever to do with our religious beliefs, honest, and is only a purely objective review of the overwhelming evidence for the existence of a giant Earth-supporting T*rtle, which cannot possibly be denied unless you're a deluded member of the vast antiT*rtle conspiracy.
The Big Question is: Is the turtle male or female? This might become even more acute if we sight another turtle.