Posted on 10/20/2003 10:18:58 AM PDT by quidnunc
On a recent week-long sojourn through Northern Ontario I had the opportunity to become intimately acquainted with our national broadcaster. I use the word "intimately" in the sense that it applies to certain situations that are not entirely pleasant, nor are they wished for. But given the circumstances, the CBC was the only game in town, unless I cared to listen to radio stations from Duluth or Minneapolis.
The programming that was aired was so out of touch with what Northern Ontario was all about, that at times I thought I was listening to a Monty Python skit.
Picture this: interminable stretches of highway bordered on each side with dark, impenetrable woods broken only by the odd swamp, lake or granite formation; populated areas wherein people live in small white clapboard bungalows with tiny windows and where the most ambitious buildings are government offices and the LCBO; Industry that consists largely of logging or mining, employing the roughest, toughest, hardest-drinking types you’ve ever met.
Yet the Canadian radio programs the residents of Northern Ontario are forced to listen to sound like they are from another planet. They include arcane discussions on the arts, Programs originating from Prague in the Czech Republic celebrating famous Czech composers, in-depth reports on rioting between Hindus and Muslims in India, as well as the interminably smug commentary on how the Americans are screwing up the world. Add to this a sense of effete snobbery, and that pretty well sums up the CBC’s Northern Ontario presence.
No wonder the alcoholism and suicide rate in Northern Ontario is many times higher than the national average! Long cold winters with endless months of little or no sunshine, almost no recreational amenities other than skidoo riding and drinking and radio programming that describes the correct form for executing a perfect plié by very soft, effeminate sounding men with British accents are the staple of everyday life. They don’t even give an accurate weather report! What’s wrong with this picture?
It seems to me that the CBC is a microcosm of all that is wrong with this country: the profligate waste, the conceit that we are making a real difference in the world, the pretensions and delusions of grandeur and most sadly, the utter irrelevance of anything relating to gritty, life-sized reality.
I now understand why so many Northern Ontarians choose to listen to American radio stations originating in places like Cheboygan or Grand Portage. Their programming appears to be grounded in the real world, rather than the delusional twilight zone of that Ivory Tower known as the CBC. The sooner we elect a government that has the guts to close them down, the better off all of Canada will be.
No wonder the alcoholism and suicide rate in Northern Ontario is many times higher than the national average! Long cold winters with endless months of little or no sunshine, almost no recreational amenities other than skidoo riding and drinking and radio programming that describes the correct form for executing a perfect plié by very soft, effeminate sounding men with British accents are the staple of everyday life. They don’t even give an accurate weather report! What’s wrong with this picture?
That's not quite accurate.
According to northern-Ontarians I have talked to, the curling scene there in winter is really jumping.
Oh , I don't know as that's true. Yesterday I tuned in the CBC in my shop and listened to an hour long program on bread , how it's made , and it's importance around the world . That was interesting.
Today, I heard about the 1832 massacre at Moose Factory , the finding of the location of where Tom Thompson painted his famous pic in Algonquin Park , "Northern Lights" . That was interesting. And I heard some early Ike & Tina Turner "blues recordings" which was news to me , and rather good . But the crappy FN singer singing songs about her mother in law , well , a waste of electrical power. I've heard lots of interesting , and frankly , weird stuff on the CBC. Like how men who shave their heads are considered erotic. By gay men . (tis true , you bald headed shavers are a real turn on .)
And some how that , at my age anyway , is cooler than some rapper or tapper or flapper , whatever it is they're called these days , on other stations making nothing but noise.
And the guy that only thinks snowmobiles . Never heard of 5 pin bowling , curling , ice fishing , skiing, or hockey? How about Ringette?
And those long winter nights . Perfect for cuddling up . I suppose he never heard of Whoopee!
btw, house is yellow brick, not clap board.
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