Posted on 10/18/2003 6:02:04 PM PDT by Cobra64
When I was growing up (I'm 53) when I made certain comments as a young man, my Dad (yes he was wealthy but certainly not a snob - at home he looked like a farmer - except at the office) said you have to practice "nobless oblige." The way he explained the term was to bend your personality to the indivdual with whom you are conversing... Listen to the laborers thinking, words and listening skills; and respond on his level. On the flip side, when you're negotiating a $50m contract with a supplier, then the conversation changes.
That said, is there an official "definition" of this term?
My son seems to have this gift, but I promised him that I'd give him a more "formal" definition of this comunication practice.
Any help from my fellow FReepers?
BTW, this is my first post, so I hope I haven't put this in the wrong place.
You beat me to it. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who, when wondering about a term or trying to explain what something means, first thinks "check the dictionary".
My favorite quote on it: "Noblesse oblige is felt only by the noble." ("Oscar Gordon" in Glory Road by Robert Heinlein)
It's made clear in that book that Heinlein does not consider it to have any bad connotations - he holds it up as an admirable trait.
I have always thought that the poem, "IF", by Rudyard Kipling, was the best "description" of the practice of "noblesse oblige", without the snobbishness so often attributed to simply acting like a "gentleman".
And the connotation from the book is when the main character, Oscar Gordon, spends time with a lad, trying to be an inspiration to the lad.
The idea is that the ones who have achieved something should try to give something back (and not is a snively socialist type meaning!!).
I have often heard this term used by war veterans, and it comes up when I have dealt with Medal of Honor recipients! (I occassionally teach a Navy Reserve Officer Leadership course, and have asked a MoH recipient to speak near the end of the course. The talks are always well received. When I asked a MoH recipient to come to the class and speak ... his reaction was almost a "darn, someone else tracked me down ... and I just can't say no!" He felt that the MoH imposed an obligation on him to do these sorts of visits/speeches, etc. While a MoH recipient gets $600/mo (just voted in Congress to go up to $1000/mo) - they probably deserve 5 times that amount based on the speeches and ceremonies that they are asked to attend. But "noblesse oblique" fits the feelings that those guys have!!!
Mike
If you've been blessed with more than average wealth, brains, physical prowress, etc., you are expected to not squander your gifts.
Yes. And that's what Dad taught me. We squandered our gifts to the Church and helped our friends get through hard times without being obnoxious. It was touchy trying to help without paying their bills. We'd bring a few hamburgers over instead of sirloins. That would have been a transparrent over-reaction and though some folks don't have a lot of money, if we had flaunt it, my folks would have lost some very dear life-long frinds. To ME, that is the definition of "nobless oblige. " I think the "old man drug me up right."
Thanks for y'all help. Jeffrey will appreciate this when he does battle with the Libs in Berkeley (shi'ite, I can't even spell that name), CA. Cheers to all and pray to God to keep President Bush on course and let's vet the 7,8,9 dwarfs next year. Ya know, this country would be so neat if we had politicians like W who CARED about this nation. /end mentalmouthwash.
A more archaic definition perhaps is that the nobility had very defined obligations to their knights, squires, vassels and serfs.
Just remember (and tell your son): "Hay to the ox, and sugar to the parrot."
Translation: You speak to some people at some times in some ways, and other people at other times in other ways.
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