In the past, Paape has taken away things such as computer and television time when the boys have broken the rules, prompting Gavin's oft-repeated retort: "Smoking is the one thing you can't take away from me. You can't stop me."
Paape said she has good kids who can be a lot better if they give up their smoking habits.
"For the most part, they are doing the best they can. You can't expect them to be perfect. They're still kids," she said.
Maybe it's me. When I read that, it sounds to me like Mom knows these are teenagers being teenagers. That's why I wonder where the wanted poster thing comes in. Do you want them to smoke? No, of course not. But here's my question, what exactly are you supposed to do? Does anyone think there is a punishment available that is going to stop kids from smoking if they really want to?
I'm not saying give them permission, and I even agree with making it difficult to continue their habit. But I just see this poster business as a no-win deal. The mother freely admits she's trying to shame them, and I just don't see how that is in the best interest of the parent/child relationship. I know that I would remember for a long time that my Mom went out of her way to embarass me in my town, in front of my friends, and now, in the newspaper. I just don't think that's what a parent is needed for. Guide, advise, teach, set an example and help pick up the pieces when things go wrong, yes. Develop an adversarial relationship that takes years to get past? I just don't see how that's the way to go. Don't you want your children to know they can count on you?
That would be a long time healing. The kids is 16, and at 18 the issue of whether or not he's allowed to smoke is going to be moot. Would this heal in two years? I don't know. That's really all I was trying to say.