Mark Steyn: Meet Barbie, Ken and Robert Mubarbie

Excerpt:

I WASN'T surprised to hear the Iranian government has gone into the doll business. A subsidiary of the ministry of education has introduced "Sara", dressed in traditional Islamic garb, and her brother, "Dara", to counter the influence of dolls from the Great Satan. "Dara and Sara are strategic products to preserve our national identity," toy seller Mehdi Hedayet told the BBC. "It is an answer to Barbie and Ken."

Barbie, with her prominent bust and wanton clothing, has caused some concern among Iranian parents, and, as for Ken, there've been persistent rumours that he's a bit light on his loafers. "I think every Barbie doll is more harmful than an American missile," said fellow toy seller Masoumeh Rahimi.

Well, it wasn't news to me. A few days earlier, I'd swung by the new store, Toys bin Us, only to find my old friend, style guru Armand Croissant, behind the counter. "Culturally appropriate dolls are where it's at," he said. "Just ask UN Barbie." He delved in his box and produced Human Rights Commissioner Mary Barbieson. "She comes with 10 pairs of sensible shoes, but only one speech. What's that, Mary?" He bent down and held her close to his ear. "She says we need to do more to reach out to Middle Eastern countries."

"And how do we do that?" I asked.

"Easy," said Armand, and pulled out a familiar bearded figure with a green camouflage jacket over his robes. "Meet Osama ken Laden. One of our biggest sellers. He's completely lifelike. In every respect."
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""I'll say." Armand whipped out a Ken doll. "Hey, Bob. Didn't I see you in Heaven last night?"

The Mubarbie doll spun around and his little jaw moved up and down. "You filthy British homosexual!" he yelled at Ken in a tinny voice. "You are lower than pigs!"

"I'm impressed," I admitted. "Does he have any friends?"

"More than you'd think," said Armand, and handed me Kommonwealth Konference Ken.

I pulled the string in his back, but nothing happened. "He's useless," I complained. "He doesn't do a thing."

"Nonsense," said Armand. "Look at him. He's expressing `deep concern'."*************The Perils of Designer Tribalism

Zimbabwe -- Farmers providing election support arrested

Michael Laban, left, a member of the opposition Movement for Democratic Change, registers an appeal with Zimbabwe police Inspector Martin Mberi after being told that his name had been deleted from the voters roll at Avondale polling station in Harare on the first day of the Presidential Elections, Saturday March 9, 2002. (AP PHOTO) - Mar 09 6:53 AM ET

Mike Auret, left, the opposition Movement for Democratic Change MP for Harare Central is assisted by Presiding Officer Gladys Chirokote, center, and an election officer after he discovered he had been struck off the voters roll at Avondale polling station in Harare, on the first day of the Zimbabwe Presidential Elections, Saturday March 9, 2002. Auret protested and later in the day presented evidence of his citizenship, and the election officials allowed him to vote.(AP PHOTO) - Mar 09 6:43 AM ET

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