Child-Free and Carefree

ABC News ^ | February 14, 2002 | Geraldine Sealey

[andysandmikesmom]

Just because you have children, that does not mean they are going to take care of you, rather than put you in a nursing home...I have worked in nursing homes for years, and believe me when I say, just about every single senior put there, was put there by their own children...and many of those seniors could have easily been taken care of at home...their own kids just did not want to bother with it...

[Neets]

Kudos to you Dear BB for admitting what few are willing to. Parenting is NOT for everyone.

As a mom who CONTINUALLY struggles with a teenaged girl, it is not an easy task..

Better to admit it up front than to bring a child into the world knowing it's something you either don't want, or don't feel capable of handling.

Oh, and Happy Valentines Day Bella!!! Ciao.

Neets.

[MotleyGirl70]

Is it wrong of me to hope that this growing segment of the population is made up of liberals?

I am married, in my early 30's and childless, by choice, and plan to stay that way. AND I AM ANYTHING BUT LIBERAL.

[Bella_Bru]

Happy Valentines to you too!!!!

[oremus]

It may appear that way to the degraded masses, but actually it's higher than that. Just because it's not the "way of the world" doesn't mean it's a mistaken notion. Our society is decaying like a rotten apple and this is why. Sex, Contraception, and the Meaning of Life

[The Green Goblin]

They do, however, expect to collect social security, taxed from incomes of other people's children. Selfish, very selfish.

You're crticizing people who have spent their lives as taxpaying citizens? That's not very nice at all.

[Mr. Bird]

And they do cut into golf time......

[Bella_Bru]

Did you know that not everyone is catholic? Of course, you probably dislike that as well.

[mwl1]

And the childless couples pay higher income taxes, too.

[ItsDocGerbilsWorld]

What drives us nuts are those parents who treat their kids as "the accessory that never leaves you."

I respect anyone's decision to have kids or not. When I had my son, I realized my heart had grown little feet and lept out of my body. I go nowhere without my little "accessory" and am proud that he has never been in daycare or even with a babysitter. Sometimes it has been rough on one income but every morning when I can lazily open my eyes and see the face of an angel that slept between my spouse and myself all night - I realize for the first time in my life what absolute, unconditional and complete adoration is. :)

[Phantom Lord]

Don't tell 'em that your a heavy metal, tattoo, and piercing freak. You'll really get his rath then.

As you know Bella, i am the same as you. Say hi to StoneCold for me.

[oremus]

There will always be JUDASES. And yes, it's disgusting and makes me infuriorated. But that does NOT invalidate the Truth of my faith. Let those who are without sin cast the first stone. Are you without sin???

Besides, this goes on in the Protestant world, too, you just won't hear about it on the Anti-Catholic evening news.

[Bella_Bru]

HeeHee.......or don't mention that I like Vegas and do not believe that Harry Potter will turn you into a satanist?

StoneCold says hello back.

[denfurb]

From an e-mail I got from a friend. Parenthood is great if that's what you want to do. From what some of you have said, it seems to still be great if you didn't want to take that track at the start. I hope you all feel this way about your kids (I do) and all you childless, I hope someone feels this way about you.

Happy Valentine's Day xoxoxo

The Cost of Kids

I have seen repeatedly the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice, really nice!

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up $160,140! That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert your child's name here). For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich".

It is just the opposite. What do your get for your $160,140?
1. Naming rights. First, middle, and last
2. Glimpses of God every day.
3. Giggles under the covers every night.
4. More love than your heart can hold.
5. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
6. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
7. A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
8. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, 9. building sand castles.
10.Skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
11.Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to keep: reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowersunder refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Author Unknown

[meowmeow]

We'll see how the childless feel when they're old, and there is no one to care for them. Nursing homes can be sad, sad places when no one comes to visit you.

I've visited nursing homes and talked to many lonely old souls - whose children never come to visit them. Having kids is not necessarily old-age security.

We have been married less than a year and I can definitely feel the social pressure to have children. However we can't help it that we didn't even meet until we were nearly 40. Children may not be in our future and we're willing to accept that and will be happy use our time and money to help others instead. I don't even mind holding the fort when one of my co-workers has to run out on a family emergency. They are all excellent fathers and I'm delighted that they love and cherish their little ones like they do.

I have a hard time believing I'm going to get to heaven and be confronted by an angry mob of my unused eggs. Especially since God hooked me up in middle age with the most wonderful Christian man I could ever imagine, long after I had given up on ever being married (he had given up too for that matter!).

[martin_fierro]

Another recent example of twisted "Marin County Family Values". Oremis might view it as a positive that plenty of future Social Security contributors were created, though:

Calif. Family Neglect Case Widens
Thu Feb 14, 7:54 AM ET
By RON HARRIS, Associated Press Writer

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - The leader of a cult-like family who is charged with murder in the apparent starvation death of his 19-month-old son also fathered a daughter who died mysteriously 12 years ago, authorities said.

San Francisco police investigated, but authorities listed the girl's cause of death only as "sudden death in infancy" and said she had no apparent injuries. No criminal charges were filed against Winnfred Wright or the girl's mother, who later left Wright.

The death raised suspicion because the body of the 2-month-old girl was kept at home for three days. The mother told police she didn't immediately report the death "since it takes that length of time for the soul to leave the body," a coroner's report said.

Wright later moved his family from San Francisco to suburban Marin County, where the group grew to four women and 13 children before the 19-month-old boy died in November.

Authorities learned of that death when at least two of the women took the dead boy to a San Rafael hospital. Authorities then discovered that the rest of the children — ranging from 8 months to 16 years — were malnourished and several suffered from rickets, a softened-bone condition rare in the United States since the introduction of vitamin D-fortified milk.

Among those present at the 1990 death was Carol Bremner, one of four women facing charges with Wright of severely neglecting the children, according to a medical examiner's report.

Wright, 45, and Bremner, 44, were part of a living arrangement that also included Deirdre Wilson, 37, Kali Polk-Matthews, 20, and Mary Campbell, 37, whom authorities said was the mother of the boy who died.

Wright, Bremner, Campbell and Wilson each face one count of second-degree murder and multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter and child endangerment. Polk-Matthews, who has no known children of her own, faces one count of involuntary manslaughter and one count of child endangerment. All five were arrested Friday after a grand jury returned an indictment.

They appeared in court Wednesday to enter pleas, but a judge rescheduled the hearing for Feb. 21.

Police asked cult expert Margaret Singer — who analyzed members of Charles Manson's "family" — to interview the dead girl's mother after she fled the group about a year after the child died in June 1990. Singer said Wright used a mixture of charm and psychological coercion to make the women stay.

Singer said the woman told her Wright was attractive because of his strong convictions, which included the promise to "help them work off their white karma." At the time of the 2-month-old's death, several women, all of whom were white, were living with Wright, who is black.

According to the woman, Singer said, Wright told the women in the house that white American men oppressed black men and that they could cleanse themselves "by taking care of him physically, financially, sexually."

Authorities said Wright is unemployed and two of the women had jobs that apparently supported the group.

Bremner's lawyer, Jack Rauch, said his client led a normal life but that the group was secretive because they knew outsiders would frown on their relationships.

"My client has been together with the gentleman for 20 years," Rauch said. "She's raised two happy, healthy teen-age daughters who are very devoted to her."

He also said the kids had rickets because of a strict vegetarian diet.

In the 1990 case, the medical examiner reports determined that the dead girl had been well developed and well nourished. However, the baby had received no medical attention since being born at home. Prosecutors found no evidence of crime, and did not file any charges.

[Jakarta ex-pat]

"My wife wants children soon. I am indifferent for lack of a better word. Eventually yes, tomorrow, no. I keep telling her and family and friends who push the idea of us having kids that "i have plans for my money and it isnt for stinking diapers."

Luckily, when you do have kids, and I hope you do, the stinking diapers will, within the blink of an eye, turn into a child who you wouldn't part with for the powers of King Midas.

Keep smiling,

Philip.

[Phantom Lord]

And they do cut into golf time......

They can also carry the bag and shag balls.

A newborn in my house will do far more damage to my loud ass guitar practice than it will my golf game.

[oremus]

Sex, Contraception, and the Meaning of Life

[Constitution Day]

Sorry to interrupt, but you have FReepmail.