OK, I had to get a few things together, I'm ready to watch now, you guys go at it.
Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey
It's Great To Be A Man
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the darn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Just going by experience on this site, riley1992. The veiled threats started on this thread several posts back.
Does it help to know that I think this thread is funny....? Especially the "world is your urinal".....and that makes me jealous!!!!
OK, I had to get a few things together, I'm ready to watch now, you guys go at it.
Blazing Saddles is much better
'More Beans, Mr Taggert?'
Great topic for a new thread. Why don't you go and post it and we'll be right over.
TG...You had to go and get serious on us!
There are more than five colors? The only ones I know are:
Light Beer
Dark Beer
Woof-ugly Black (that's how you keep the room)
Flesh
Other race flesh
What have I been missing?
Shalom.
Appealing for mercy already?!?
They'll chew you up and spit you out.
Then they'll jump up and down on your damp remains until the fun wears thin...
Welcome!
As for me - Airplane
Shalom.
Wasn't it Mark Twain who said "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt?"
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