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It's Great to be a Man!
Internet ^

Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey

It's Great To Be A Man

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the darn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Oh.....

81 posted on 02/08/2002 12:57:34 PM PST by SeeRushToldU_So
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To: riley1992
Are all the women you know bitter or is it just you?

Just going by experience on this site, riley1992. The veiled threats started on this thread several posts back.

82 posted on 02/08/2002 12:58:12 PM PST by Tennessee_Bob
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To: SeeRushToldU_So
You had to go get serious on us!
83 posted on 02/08/2002 12:58:21 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Cagey
This VOO-man thinks this a great post! I'll be passing this around in the hopes that it might reach a feminist or ten...
84 posted on 02/08/2002 12:58:49 PM PST by NH Liberty
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Comment #85 Removed by Moderator

To: w_over_w
Yes
86 posted on 02/08/2002 1:02:23 PM PST by Lyndal
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To: Cagey
I think it was a techicnal foul on Tex!
87 posted on 02/08/2002 1:02:33 PM PST by SeeRushToldU_So
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To: Savage Beast
Hello! I'm new to FR , so mabey I'm not in the spirit of things. I did not mean to judge anyone or the movie, in a way my comment was sarcastic, but it is true and something to think about. The purpose of my posting was to prompt the question: What is Conservative culture? What movies reflect Conservative culture? Music? What other aspects of Americana could be seen as conservative culture?
88 posted on 02/08/2002 1:02:33 PM PST by Drfate72
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To: Cagey,SeeRushtoldU_so
I'm sorry guys....really.....I'll try to think of something funny, ok?

Does it help to know that I think this thread is funny....? Especially the "world is your urinal".....and that makes me jealous!!!!

89 posted on 02/08/2002 1:07:14 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Savage Beast
Remember also that at the end of the movie it showed how Blutarsky (Belushi) became a Senator in DC. Wonder how many current CONgressmen would fit that profile?
90 posted on 02/08/2002 1:07:31 PM PST by american spirit
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To: riley1992, Tennessee_Bob

OK, I had to get a few things together, I'm ready to watch now, you guys go at it.

91 posted on 02/08/2002 1:08:27 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: w_over_w
TGIF! You're a funny guy . . . which one was your favorite movie, "Animal House" or "Blazing Saddles"?

Blazing Saddles is much better

'More Beans, Mr Taggert?'

92 posted on 02/08/2002 1:09:38 PM PST by Lyndal
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To: Drfate72
"What is Conservative culture? What movies reflect Conservative culture? Music? What other aspects of Americana could be seen as conservative culture? "

Great topic for a new thread. Why don't you go and post it and we'll be right over.

93 posted on 02/08/2002 1:09:47 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Drfate72
Hello Everyone! I'm new to FR , so mabey I'm not in the spirit of things. I did not mean to judge anyone or the movie, in a way my comment was sarcastic, but it was basically true and something to think about. National Lampoon is a liberal magazine/media organization afterall. The purpose of my posting was to prompt the question: What is Conservative culture? What movies reflect Conservative culture? Music? What other aspects of Americana could be seen as conservative culture?
94 posted on 02/08/2002 1:10:10 PM PST by Drfate72
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To: SeeRushToldU_So;WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
Yikes, you're right rush.

TG...You had to go and get serious on us!

95 posted on 02/08/2002 1:10:16 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Cagey
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

There are more than five colors? The only ones I know are:

Light Beer
Dark Beer
Woof-ugly Black (that's how you keep the room)
Flesh
Other race flesh

What have I been missing?

Shalom.

96 posted on 02/08/2002 1:10:37 PM PST by ArGee
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To: Drfate72
"Hello, I'm new to FR..."

Appealing for mercy already?!?

They'll chew you up and spit you out.

Then they'll jump up and down on your damp remains until the fun wears thin...

Welcome!

97 posted on 02/08/2002 1:11:06 PM PST by headsonpikes
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To: w_over_w
TGIF! You're a funny guy . . . which one was your favorite movie, "Animal House" or "Blazing Saddles"?

As for me - Airplane

Shalom.

98 posted on 02/08/2002 1:11:24 PM PST by ArGee
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To: Rebelbase
Drfate72...a 29 year old with brain like yours needs to keep his mouth shut, lest he be branded an idiot.

Wasn't it Mark Twain who said "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt?"

99 posted on 02/08/2002 1:12:14 PM PST by woofer
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To: Rebelbase
Go at it? I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm sitting back too. Got another beer?
100 posted on 02/08/2002 1:13:32 PM PST by Tennessee_Bob
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