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It's Great to be a Man!
Internet ^

Posted on 02/08/2002 11:16:42 AM PST by Cagey

It's Great To Be A Man

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the darn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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To: RedBloodedAmerican
Maybe the ability to separate fact from fiction helps. It's a movie.

That just makes too much sense for some to understand.

41 posted on 02/08/2002 11:58:56 AM PST by Cagey
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To: Cagey
That was the whole problem with Clinton; thought the Presidency was an act, a movie script. Not a responsiblity. And Hollywood fed (and feeds) off it. Now, back to the topic.... :)
42 posted on 02/08/2002 12:01:19 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: RedBloodedAmerican

I'll meet you halfway. I'll fill this with bourbon.

43 posted on 02/08/2002 12:03:25 PM PST by riley1992
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To: Inspectorette
it took him three years to get back on track.

A little compulsive obsessive, is he?

44 posted on 02/08/2002 12:03:57 PM PST by otterpond
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To: riley1992
My hero!
45 posted on 02/08/2002 12:04:04 PM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: Cagey
James Brown said it best -

"IT'S A MAN'S WORLD!!!"

Good God!!!

46 posted on 02/08/2002 12:04:06 PM PST by gwynapnudd
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To: Drfate72
It's not my favorite movie, but I rolled all over the floor laughing--every time I saw it. Belushi in that cafeteria scene! Hahahahahahahaha! The uncut version was the best! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Just thinking about it... Hahahahahahahahahaha! Oh I can't stand it! Hahahahahahaha!
47 posted on 02/08/2002 12:04:36 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: homeschoolmama
Remember this?
48 posted on 02/08/2002 12:04:53 PM PST by Fidgit
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To: Drfate72
Not only did I like it--I lived it!
49 posted on 02/08/2002 12:08:27 PM PST by Savage Beast
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To: Cagey
Add to the list: You "get" the Three Stooges.
50 posted on 02/08/2002 12:08:37 PM PST by Redcloak
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To: Rebelbase;Texaggie79
Texaggie will probably say he read this already.
51 posted on 02/08/2002 12:13:57 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Drfate72
Do you believe that everything - up to and including underwear - has to be labeled liberal or conservative? Face it, it was an hilarious movie that unfortunately reminded me of my time at college.
52 posted on 02/08/2002 12:14:22 PM PST by anothergrunt
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To: Cagey
I'm still your biggest fan Cagey, no matter what anyone says!

(I accept Paypal now, BTW)

53 posted on 02/08/2002 12:17:26 PM PST by 2Trievers
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To: Drfate72
Dang, I'm always late to the party. Drfate72...a 29 year old with brain like yours needs to keep his mouth shut, lest he be branded an idiot.
54 posted on 02/08/2002 12:18:11 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: otterpond
As a matter of fact, yes. None of us realized he was so impressionable - maybe because it was the first time he'd been away from home. Of course, when he did get home, he was hailed as a hero by some of the local townies for having flunked out, and he started hanging with them.

He straightened out when he fell in love with a girl who was bright, good-looking and ambitious. They've been married for 12 years now, two kids, great careers, and he's just a super guy.

55 posted on 02/08/2002 12:18:24 PM PST by Inspectorette
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To: Cagey
thanks for the ping, I was busy insulting the dufus72 for his over analitical review of an american classic.
56 posted on 02/08/2002 12:19:34 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Cagey
It's not fair. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
57 posted on 02/08/2002 12:21:20 PM PST by Kaslin
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To: 2Trievers
LOL 2T's. The check is in the mail.
58 posted on 02/08/2002 12:21:47 PM PST by Cagey
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To: Inspectorette
He straightened out when he fell in love with a girl

Yep, that'll do it!

That's another great thing about being a man. A guy will fall in love with a woman and chase her til she catches him....

59 posted on 02/08/2002 12:23:05 PM PST by otterpond
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To: Rebelbase
Hahahaha! Well, I know comedy is serious business to you.
60 posted on 02/08/2002 12:23:38 PM PST by Cagey
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