Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia

Paul Harvey ^ | 02/04/2002 | Paul Harvey

[ex-Texan]

Just heard Paul Harvey's morning broadcast and he is reporting that U.S. Special Forces have found fake Russian nukes hidden in Afghanistan. Each of these weapons was an exact replica or a 'working model' of Russian WMD .... and each had been smeared heavily with radioactive waste materials.

The nukes were apparently so radioactive that they may have contaminated everyone who came into contact with them.

What is the going price for stolen nukes on the black market today?

[dighton]

"Osama has not even brain of sqvirrel!"

[Don Joe]

"Were these training dummies?"

You're thinking of the four Palies who just blew themselves up in their car. :)

[Stefan Stackhouse]

#40 - you beat me to it! LOL

[MissAmericanPie]

I just knew Usama had been burned trying to buy nukes from the Russian mafia. The Russian mafia are the only ones bad enough to mess with terrorists and then laugh in their faces. I would be much more afraid of the Russian mafia than Al Quada.

[SevenDaysInMay]

Perhaps Osama is sick with radiation poisoning, not simply a kidney problem. I would think that most Russians, crime organizations and military, would like to see OBL/Qaeda die a miserable death after the Russian humiliation in Afganistan.

Nukes may be the current Golden Calf. Little has changed since Abraham.

[MarMema]

So what was that movie where Baghdad had the fakes and the current president told them to go ahead and use them? From some little cafe in the mountains in Colorado...
Not a bad movie at all, actually.

[Stefan Stackhouse]

The thing that would have been really scary is the following scenario:

1. OBL buys former Soviet "suitcase bombs" from Russian Mafia. Mafia knows that the physics package has been removed, so they rig some used pinball machine balls to put in their place, and smear radioactive waste all over. OBL buys. What a sucker! Ha, ha, ha!

2. OBL buys bomb-grade fissile material from someone else. Maybe even hides his identity and claims to be buying for the Pakistani program, or perhaps even actually does serve as a middleman for them -- and takes a cut of the merchandise, with or without their knowledge and approval. Sellers know that without a working device and fresh Tritium for the neutron generator, he can't do anything with it. OBL buys. What a sucker! Ha, ha, ha!

3. OBL buys fresh Tritium from a third party, someone that is not in contact with the other two sellers and does not know that OBL already has his hands on a working device and fissile material. Again, he may be acting for real or deceptively as Pakistan's middleman, but in any case is able to get a hold of some Tritium. Sellers know that without a working device and fissile material, he can't do anything with it. OBL buys. What a sucker! Ha, ha, ha!

4. OBL assembles fissile materials into a physics package, pitches used pinball parts and places in suitcase bombs. Recharges Tritium, and has someone with a good electronics background re-wire the control mechanisms. Now who's the sucker, and who's laughing?

We may never know how close he came to completing this scenario. Let's hope that the devices found in Afghanistan were not just the ones they still hadn't finished working on.

[alrea]

guess this may mean that they already planned the explosion, got to the city and activated the fuse with nothing happening. leno and his peers will be all over this.

live by the sword die by the sword.

is there a web site for decontamination techniques?

maybe the russian that sold the blue light special can claim the reward.

[Charles Martel]

#40 - you beat me to it! LOL

Me too! Well, at least we know where to find Osama and Mullah Omar. They'll be in an old VW bus, chasing members of the Russian mafia around a Moscow parking lot. :-)

[F.J. Mitchell]

Maybe the search for Osama should be conducted at night. With him glowing in the dark as he hopefully is, he should be easy to spot. A geiger counter would work like a homing device in daylight.

[BearCub]

They use Potassium Iodine to protect from radiation damage to their organs

Potassium Iodide or alternatively, Iodate will protect only your thyroid from exposure to radioactive iodine. They do not protect you from other radiation exposure at all. Except for your thyroid, you are no more protected after taking these than you were before.

-bc

[mikhailovich]

Again, I say "science-fiction" until these stories are validated by the national news networks. Lets see the nukes being carried out by US troops on CNN, ABC, NBC. So many fantasy stories about the Russian mafia and they're cache of nuclear weapons.

Would you believe the so-called Russian mafias' most sinister PROVEN crimes are petty shoplifting in US malls? Thats about it, folks. Nothing else (maybe some obscure porn rings) has ever been proven against them. I'm afraid Hollywood has made them much more than they are.........at least I hope.

[MindBender26]

Time, Distance, Shielding, Wash-up.

Short time near it, stay as far away as you can, (use improvised remote tools to move, etc.), use any shielding you can, get rid of clothes, shower, esopecially hair.

[MindBender26]

Nothing proven.... because all complaintants/witnesses, etc. end up dead.

Been to Brighton Beach recently?

[F.J. Mitchell]

# 31: If woos gon' do dat do it wight-"Wacky Wushun". Ten thousand Wushun woubles, should be about fifty cents in dollars. How many Russians...wushuns, outside the Mafia can afford one of those Mig rides?

[Sender]

I guess that even the Russian Mafia is not stupid enough to sell them the real thing

Abso-damn-lutely right. Russians have every bit as much to lose from al queda as we do. They may not be the Great Satan as we are, but they were the ex-Satan in the 1980's and terrorists have long memories. Also the Russians are having great success at killing Chechen terrorists, definitely losing points with al queda there. Nobody wants to see these fruitcakes with a live nuke.

[Redbob]

I'd go for independent verification: Paul is just a little gullible on "Too good to be true" stories.
For example, he broadcast that old story about Col. North telling the Congressional hearings that Osama bin Laden was "the most dangerous man in the world."
He announced that maybe 3 months ago or so.

[MindBender26]

Harvey just repeated story at 12:05 straight up, Eastern time.

[ghoti]

I believe that's 'skirvel'.