Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia

Paul Harvey ^ | 02/04/2002 | Paul Harvey

[ex-Texan]

Just heard Paul Harvey's morning broadcast and he is reporting that U.S. Special Forces have found fake Russian nukes hidden in Afghanistan. Each of these weapons was an exact replica or a 'working model' of Russian WMD .... and each had been smeared heavily with radioactive waste materials.

The nukes were apparently so radioactive that they may have contaminated everyone who came into contact with them.

What is the going price for stolen nukes on the black market today?

[DETAILER]

HAHAHAHAHH LOLOLOLOLOL Fantastic - made my day, thanks!

[RGSpincich]

I for one am not please to think anyone other than a recognized govt is in possession of a thermonuclear device.

It was a scam. Mafia didn't have any real ones.

[texson66]

Perfect!!! Great Job!!!

[KSCITYBOY]

Terrorists are dumb bastards in general aren't they. I'll bet the Russian mobsters laughed all the way to the bank.

[Noswad]

Were these training dummies?

[RFP]

Are these "fake nukes" the infamous "suitcase nukes" that are actual working devices sans the nuclear material which was reported in the National Enquirer (with pictures) in September and which everyone has since been talking about?

[Cold Heat]

The point was that Binn hasbeen got ripped off bigtime. I thought the story about this was a hoot!

[tjg]

"They use Potassium Iodine to protect from radiation damage to their organs"

Really? Do you know how or why it works?

[CurlyDave]

They use Potassium Iodine to protect from radiation damage to their organs.

Potassium Iodide will only protect against thyroid cancer caused by ingestion of radioactive iodine. It does nothing for other organs.

While it is certainly better than nothing, and a preparedness measure every family should have on hand, it does not make anyone "invulnerable" to radiation. It is really intended for protection against fallout--low level fallout concentrated in the food chain.

[jrewingjr]

Calling all cars, be on the lookout for a big green radioactive guy who looks really pissed. May or may not still be wearing a turban. Was overheard mumbling something about getting his money back. Last seen heading toward Moscow.

[Libertarian_4_eva]

Oh those wacky russians. Are they still selling trips in MIGs for 10,000 a pop?

[Asclepius]

... The nukes were apparently so radioactive that they may have contaminated everyone who came into contact with them ...

I hope the Russian mafiosi bilked bin Laden out of millions.

[Stavka2]

That only works for Beta particles that enter the blood stream...good ole Gamma is a large photon (no mass) that just shoots right through you killing all cells in its path.

[Landru]

"You zhust tell me vere to vind moose and squirrel..."

HA!! ~Stevo?
Boris' voice was precisely what I had in mind.
Only not in the, "Spy vs Spy" type black overcoat & hat.

...rather the cheap plaid sport coat of a used car salesman.

[Stavka2]

Wait till the great Islamo shill deFusion gets here, he'll explain it all and how it was actually all a Islamo idea to trick to stupid Christians and how now the radio active terrorists are even more a danger and lethal weapon against us evil Russians and Slavs and Christians and Jews and Hindus and little Green men from Mars. Etc, etc.

[BlueLancer]

"Osama bin Laden Bought Fake Nukes from Russian Mafyia"

Don't you just hate it when that happens. Luckily, MasterCard refused to accept the charge when I tried it or they could be saying the same thing about me.

Der Elite Møøsenspåånkengruppen OberKømmååndo

[Eva]

Would radiation poisoning cause kidney failure?

[Eva]

Would radiation poisoning cause kidney failure?

[kinghorse]

"Would radiation poisoning cause kidney failure?"

Probably in latter stages, but I would think the kidneys might get a bit riled after having resident kidney stones bounced from the shockwave of a Blu or Daisy Cutter spreading out.

[Jeremiah Jr]

They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took their plutonium and in turn gave them a shiny bomb case full of used pinball machine parts!