You're killing me here, Sam. The wife and I LOVE Urquell, and the only place I can find it in east Tennessee is about twenty miles away. Road trip.
My parents live in northern Alabama so I feel your pain! When I visit, I have to drive practically to Atlanta to find a decent beer. I live just a couple miles from a store that stocks virtually every beer brewed. I am fully appreciative of how lucky I am.
Just tore through a platter of mussels and clams and I have a tall glass of Pilsner Urquell beside me right now.