My mother was just such a woman as you mentioned. She wanted so desperately to keep her marriage together, but my father already had a woman waiting in the wings to marry and she exemplifies the woman you men are all scared of(the new wife--believe you me, if this one ends, she will take him to the bank despite her good income). My mother stayed home with us for quite a long time, worked at 6.00 an hour jobs part time to help put MY DAD through school, and then within months of his graduation, he left her. She got half of the bills my friends and 12 years later still does not have them all paid off. She was never able to go to school(makes just too much money for it and is inimidated by school loans because of the debt she has now). She didn't even drive until I was 18 years old and married when she was 18. She was old school and got burned big time. I know some of you have had schemers for ex-wives, but in your haste to make sure the witches you all knew don't get a dime of your income, you are not considering the truly virtuous women who got screwed when they trusted thier spouse to be faithful and loyal enough not to dump them when the children were nearly raised and thier education paid for.
One thing that is getting me irate here are these settlements by the courts. It seems that the manipulating women who want out and have good paying jobs get rewarded the most--you know the ones who basically used the husband as the sperm donor. And the women who get shafted are those left by the husband who they intended to be married to for life and at great personal sacrifice raised THIER children and in many cases supported thier spouses in such a way so they were freed from the household burdens to pursue a successful career. You are damn straight I think a woman who has mutually agreed to not pursue a career or end one, stays with a stiff for 25 years, and raises the kids should be assisted by her dh in some way when HE ends it. Let's face it, if we were to end support all together than we just make it easier for men to get out of relationships and leave good women who have cared for thier children and homes out in the cold. So all you do is turn the cards in the other direction. I think there probably needs to be some kind of balance and we need to get back to where the penalty falls on those who actually FILE for the divorce and we start looking at the REASONS for divorce again, along with the marital history(number of previous marriages, length of current marriage, etc). That seems like the most ethical way to deal with this since no fault divorce has been a disaster for both men and women save for the most manipulative of the bunch.
Maybe instead of letting judges and lawyers decide everything, all couples should make some kind of prenuptial agreement on how they want things to be if the marriage doesn't survive. That way if a man wants a non-career wife, there could be some kind of protection for her if he changes his mind later. If the couple both keeps a career, they would obviously decide differently how to divide the assets and provide for the kids.
I think I have a balanced view because I've seen horror stories on both sides---often with relatives. Like the guy whose wife found someone else and wanted to leave him but take his kids and money to a woman whose husband wanted to leave her with nothing and keep it all for himself and his new-found lover. He figured the wife could have nothing and since she had no job skills or job, he'd keep the kids and house and told her she could go live with her mother. She did get a job but it's not easy just starting out when you haven't had to work in 20 years.