Urban Legend Haiku

n/a ^ | even date | self

[LN2Campy]

Haiku...Urban Legends -- two intermittently occuring topics on this esteemed forum. Why not combine them??

What's this on mirror?
"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF AIDS!"
One night stand of DEATH!!

It's strange to awaken
In a bathtub full of ice.
HEY - where's my kidney!?!

"Speed trap" I flash them
As a helpful motorist
Only to get shot!!

OK, folks, knock yourselves out!!

[fish hawk]

Not the way I say it.

[Cogadh na Sith]

Not the way I say it.

OK, you got me there...

[fish hawk]

Enron goes under
But here on this ship of fools
we correct grammar.

[Reply 491]

Urban legenders:
"I know the guy who saw it"
Yeah right whatever.

Cookie recipe
Do I have to pay for this?
Now it's yours for free.

[noone]

Last year's Final Four
Those Terrapins sure did choke.
The refs were paid off!

[ru4liberty]

To convey one's mood
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffic.

Now that's funny!

[Calico]

Scared of breast cancer?
Use no anti-perspirant
Stinky, yes, but safe.

Late into the night
Bumping silly, funny threads
I'm a FReep addict :)

[LN2Campy]

Glad to see the night shift did so well, even if the thread veered slightly back into "Fishing with Bill Dance" mode.

Anyway, my pretties, here's this morning's pathetic efforts:

Madonna in stretch.
Lower East Side beckoning,
Four guys at same time.

Why the fence, Ollie?
Bad dude after me big time,
Name of OSAMA

It will change the World!!
The auto will be extinct!!
Naah, just a scooter.

[noone]

Say "Bloody Mary"
Three times into your mirror.
Try it if you dare!

[bwteim]

Fish hawk to: chookter

Enron goes under
But here on this ship of fools
we correct grammar.

Hawk's pithy remarks
Can shed light - ere we lose sight
Of bigger picture....

- bwteim, one of the deck hands

[in_troth]

Look at my new plant!
Wait--but why is it shaking?
Oh no! Black widows

Lunatic escaped.
I'm scared! Quit necking, peel out
Hey, whose hook is this?

What a great hairdo
but why is blood dripping down?
spiders ate your head!

Dog brings dead rabbit.
Friend's! Wash, dry, return--surprise!
it had been buried.

What's this, a pimple?
It's growing very large now.
Yikes! Baby spiders!

Recipe--charge me?!
I'll show you, neiman marcus!
Here it is for FREE!

Collect soda tabs
then send thousands to some church
free dialysis!

Fever, death, oh no!
Same restaurant--ate bad food?
No! Toilet spider!

Cows sleep standing up
We went cow tipping, really!
No, we really did.

Our hotel room robbed!
Thieves left cam'ra, toothbrushes.
(pic---they're in their butts!)

Pick up hitchhiker--
girl in sweater---disappears!
Ghost who died this day.

Date, but I have gas,
blast it quick in boyfriend's car.
(oops!---friends in backseat).

Groom has a surprise.
"Look under your plate!" Pictures
of bride and best man.

[fish hawk]

bwteim

Don't understand name
How to count the syllables
To make good Haiku.

[fish hawk]

Too many spiders
Arachnaphobia lurks
In Haiku writer.

[fish hawk]

bride has a surprise
looked under her plate!..pictures
groom kissing best man.

[fish hawk]

Parents get surprised
At San Francisco wedding
Best man is the bride!!

[fish hawk]

check your Freeper Mail.

[bwteim]

BWTEIM

Dear Fish Hawk, just rhyme
Part of name, one at a time
Bee Double U Time

[americaprd]

I got into the act a little late, but here's my go at it.

A loud explosion
Brains leaking from woman's head
No, just cookie dough

[Fabozz]

"Wear sunscreen," class told.
Good advice, but Vonnegut
Was not the speaker.

Shuttle engine width
Based on chariot wheels? No,
Nothing's that simple.

Disney on ice? No,
He's pushing up daisies in
A Forest Lawn plot.

Fargo: Pure fiction,
But treasure hunter believes,
And dies in the snow.

[Fabozz]

Urban myths become
Haikus?! Laughing out loud, I
Bump you to the top.