by Mia T, April 1, 2002
n apparently immiscible mix of abused pets and abusive pardons joined forces posthumously this week as the latest players in the ongoing revisionist Harlem-hatched absurdity known as the CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme. This bizarre canine/quid-pro-quo pairing debuted yesterday in a revisionist Newsweek report authored by clinton lapdog, Jonathan Alter; the Newsweek piece was set up to be yet another cozy clintonoid interview of the Colmes kind. Gross clinton "infrastructure" miscalculation, as it turned out. The report has proven to be counterproductive on its face. The clinton "infrastructure" error was to assume sufficient clinton intelligence to navigate these heady times, as well as lapdog immutability in the face of universal post-pardongate, post-9/11 rodham-clinton disdain. Alter reports that the impeached ex-president now regrets having pardoned Marc Rich, not because it was criminal, not because it undermined our democracy, not because it aided and abetted the terrorists, but because it tarnished his legacy...which isn't fair, in any case, because Ken Starr made him do it, continues clinton, according to the report. Had he, himself, not been a victim of "prosecutorial abuse," clinton says he would not have been susceptible to Rich's exhortations. In extreme CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme mode, the disgraced ex-president, nonetheless, fails to explain why he was susceptible to Rich's cash. His lame argument, that he believed cash funneled by the wife, Denise Rich, to his presidential library, (the postmodern rodham-clinton reputation-history-&-money-laundering machine currently under construction), could not have come from the husband because the couple was estranged, is contradicted by the very fact that the wife was lobbying clinton for the husband's pardon... A blockbuster revelation The blockbuster revelation of the Alter piece, however, is less about pardons than about pets; clinton has disclosed that he is getting another chocolate Labrador puppy, a descendent of Buddy. Buddy was the second clinton dog hit by a car and killed because of clinton neglect.The clintons' first dog, Zeke, was killed in 1990 while running loose in Arkansas, (mimicking his master, some have argued). Buddy's name is not lost on this writer. Clinton obviously buys into the Trumanism: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog," particularly sage advice today, post-pardongate, post-9/11, for the proximate cause of both. Rumor has it that clinton intends to maintain the " friend" theme and name his new puppy "Chum." Some have suggested that given the poor pet's likely endpoint, "Chump" -- or maybe even "Thump" -- would be more appropriate. |
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"I did not have any involvement in the pardons that were granted or not granted," insisted Sen. KnowNothing, seeming to forget her presence at the New-Square/Oval-Office schmooze that secured pardons for the four Hasidic felons who set up a phony school in Brooklyn to swindle the government out of millions intended for the poor. |
by Mia T, Mar. 31, 2002
et me get this straight... Impeached ex-president, bill clinton says he now regrets having pardoned Marc Rich, not because it was criminal, not because it undermined our democracy, not because it aided and abetted the terrorists, but because it tarnished his legacy...which isn't fair, in any case, says clinton, because Ken Starr made him do it. Had he, himself, not been a victim of "prosecutorial abuse," he says he would not have been susceptible to Rich's exhortations. In extreme CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme mode, the disgraced ex-president, nonetheless, fails to explain why he was susceptible to Rich's cash. |
The report fails to explain how Buddy was able to wrest from the strong arm of the Secret Service and negotiate the multimillion-dollar, taxpayer-financed retrofits that were installed to make the poorly located suburban house safe for the universally despised former first couple. The report also fails to include a timeline detailing the whereabouts of the clintons on the day of the death. The clinton report's indictment of a sport utility vehicle (SUV) has caused incipient whispers of a vast left-wing conspiracy and the ever-expanding list of dead adverse clinton witnesses to fill the Senate cloakroom.
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If you don't have Flash Player 6...
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Havel/Weisel Moral Authority Not Transferable to clinton, despite bill's best exploitive efforts CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme Fails Yet Again to Revise History and Secure Nobel (or the converse)
EW YORK, Friday, September 20, 2002, 5pm --Sharing the stage at the CUNY Graduate Center with President of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Havel and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel, impeached ex-president, bill clinton looked singularly small, self-aggrandizing and out of place. The confab was euphemistically titled,"Continuing Leadership as World Citizens." An extension of the CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme," the conference was concocted specifically to confer legitimacy on the impeached ex-president's shameless refusal to leave the global stage and cease his undermining of America. If the confab was intended to render the clintons interminable, it was also meant to terminate consideration of a Carter Nobel and replace it with... well, you know.... With spin that lacked velocity as well as veracity, clinton's explanation of his utter failure to confront terrorism to a post-9/11 Nobel committee was at once old and infantile; he told the committee, "I often 'didn't act' because it would have upset the rest of the world." I guess the Nobels didn't buy it. Carter got The Prize and CLINTON-WAS-AN-UTTER-FAILURE Containment Team Scheme failed once again, underscoring (yet again) clinton's immutable legacy of depravity and failure. |