The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do. He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth.
The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up laying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here buddy, we won't have any of that carrying around in this bar!"
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded and said, "Hell then, if you're that far in, you might as well finish up."
A priest goes into the barber shop for a haircut. When the barber was finished, the priest asked the barber how much he owed him. The barber replied, "Oh, father, I could not possibly ask for money from a man of the cloth. It's on me." The next morning, the barber arrived at his shop and found twelve loaves of bread with a thank-you note from the priest.
Later that morning, a minister came in for a haircut. The barber refused his money, too. When the barber arrived for work the next day there were twelve bottles of wine on the steps with a note from the minister.
That afternoon, a rabbi came into the shop for a haircut. When the haircut was complete, the rabbi reached for his wallet. "Oh, no rabbi," said the barber. "I cannot possibly accept payment from a holy man such as yourself." The next day the barber arrived at his shop to find twelve rabbis on his front steps.