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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive.
In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double
positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the
room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
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A man from New York was visiting a small Southern town
during Christmas time. They had a "Nativity Scene" there that
showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One
small feature bothered the yankee. The three wise men were
all wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, he
left. At a "Quickie Stop" on the edge of town, he asked
the lady behind the counter about the firemen's helmets.
She exploded into a rage, yelling at him, "You damn Yankees
never do read the Bible!"
He assured her that he did, but simply couldn't recall
anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through
some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.
Sticking it in his face she said "See, it says right here,
'The three wise man came from afar.'"
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Hmmmmm, I can relate to that sometimes. :^) Merry Christmas, Wheel!
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offence", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened", countered the prisoner.
