Posted on 12/21/2001 11:46:28 AM PST by LiveFree2000
The moral minefield of a boy's dying wish 21dec01 But there's a problem – he's in hospital, he doesn't want to talk to his mum and dad about it, and having been sick and in and out of hospital since the age of 12, he has formed no friendships or relationships with girls from his peer group. The boy, let's call him Jack, simply wants to experience what every testosterone-driven heterosexual teenage boy thinks about, allegedly, every 17 seconds. Sex. So what does he do? It sounds like a hypothetical situation, but this story is true and Jack is real. His heartbreaking story about death and desire came to light last month when the child psychologist dealing with Jack wrote a letter to the Radio National program, Life Matters, in which moral dilemmas are discussed by academics. It's a fascinating topic for academic discussion: how does a minor and the people who care for him tread though the ethical and practical minefield to see that he gets such a wish? And firstly, should he even be granted his wish? While many of us might scream reflexively "Yes! Of course!", cautious ethicists may ask questions. Is a 15 year-old, officially a child, intellectually and emotionally competent to make such a mature decision? Do the parents have a right to know? Should the woman involved be charged with the criminal offence of having sex with a minor? Should a prostitute be involved? Should the hospital staff help to organise something? All valid questions ripe for discussion, but forget the academic debate. What happened to Jack himself? Yesterday, the child psychologist – who wishes to remain anonymous – told The Daily Telegraph the rest of the dying boy's story. He had become involved after a nurse tending Jack – the only person Jack took into his confidence – urged the boy to talk to him. So Jack spoke to the child psychologist, who specifically deals with children dying of terminal diseases, and this was not the first time the psychologist had heard of such a wish from a teenage boy. "He had been sick for quite a long period and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," said the psychologist. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." So Jack and the psychologist had a series of thorough discussions in which they went through every possible permutation of what might happen to him physically and emotionally so that he was "completely prepared" for the prospect of living out his final dream. Jack's state of mind, he said, was sensible and mature and psychologically, totally competent. As he said: "Terminally ill kids get very wise, very quickly" and Jack had been sick for a long time. The hospital staff who knew about Jack's wish at first wanted to help, their first reaction being "let's do a whip around and pay for a prostitute" but of course ethical and legal considerations stopped them in their tracks. The psychologist also had canvassed members of the clergy, and found an interesting response: "It really polarised them, about half said what's your problem? And the other half said [the idea] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one. "I just saw it as a legitimate request of a young man who wants to experience something that can do no harm." The psychologist said that with Jack, he rigorously questioned what damage might be done to him as a result of fulfilling his wish, and the answer came up every time: none. "Everyone's uncomfortable with teenage sex, period," said the psychologist. "Adolescents becoming sexual is enormously confronting, and a lot of people believe that kids shouldn't be sexual. But we are sexual from the womb to the tomb – that's my view. "But ethics and morals aside, in children dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger'." This happens when a child, seriously ill and in and out of hospital and receiving medical treatment over a long period, yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt". "So you ask," said the psychologist, "what was this young man wanting? "Was he wanting a cuddle?" Probably yes, but as his illness and its treatment hadn't obliterated his normal teenage urges, he also really wanted that consummate experience. So without his parents knowing, and completely without the involvement of the hospital staff, and not – it must be stressed – on the hospital's premises, Jack "did engage in the act and it was everything he wished it to be". "He was very, very happy and only slightly disappointed that it was over quickly." "The act", his dying wish, was with a sex worker who was "organised by friends who thought it was the right thing to do". All precautions were taken, and the friends made sure the act was fully consensual and involved no abuse or exploitation. As for the legal ramifications of such a case, "quite clearly the law was broken, but of the people involved, most didn't give a toss," the psychologist said. And what of the parent's right to know about their son? Jack simply didn't want to talk to them about it. He loved them, but they are religious and he didn't want them to know. Anyway, what 15-year-old boy does want to talk to his parents about sex, even under normal circumstances? There is also legal precedence for a minor of sufficient maturity and intelligence to be given confidential medical treatment but does sex with a prostitute count as treatment? "Absolutely. It is absolutely part of therapy," said the psychologist, "Because it was what he wanted. People talk about a trip to Disneyland being therapeutic what's the difference? It was what he wanted." So Jack got what he wanted, and last week, he finally lost his fight with the cancer.
Is it right or wrong to grant a dying teenaged boy his wish to have sex? LUCY CLARK examines a modern ethical dilemma:
A 15 YEAR-OLD boy is terminally ill with cancer. He knows he doesn't have very long to live, and he has a dying wish. It is not to go to Disneyland or to meet his favourite actor, rock or sports star but it is this: he wants to make love to a woman.
Lysander: You are joking arn't you?
Freedom of religion, a free press, right to keep and bear arms, no unlawful search and seizure...nope, don't see it listed.
I suppose your going to tell me that its the 69th Amendment?
Please explain to me the rationale of a 15 year old minor having a 'right' to sex. He doesn't have the right to vote, or drink, or even legally operate a motor vehicle.
You're an idiot.
Bring me someone who can think.
I would.
Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother, that thou mayest be longlived upon the land which the Lord thy God will give thee.
Seems to me that not wanting his parents know is hugely unlawful in the OT.
Exactly. And what is in his heart? That sex with another human geing is a goodie to be consumed like ice cream. Sex is an act of imtimate coming together, with life as its object -- not only new life, but a renewed and enriched life shared between spouses. One does not -- or should not -- express an ambition to enter into such relationships with no-one-in-particular. It is one thing to experience the very human yearning for intimate contact, and express one's longing for it on a theoretical level. It's quite another to argue that naked appetite is entitled to be gratified, and that you & I are nothing more than meat for one another's consumption.
Good choice of example, reductio ad absurdum.
Me? I just want to remove the mattress tag, OK?
Cute. Now answer the question.
Is it 'consistent' with your 'libertarian' principles that minors can consent to sexual acts?
President Clinton dies and goes to hell. The Devil tells him, "You are now condemned to eternal punishment, but you can pick what it is."
So Clinton follows him into a room. Inside is Dole on a rack. He decides that looks pretty rough, so he follows the Devil into a second room. In there, Rush is being dipped into a big vat of water, being let up every 2 minutes for a gasp of air before being submerged again. In the third room, Ken Starr is hanging from his thumbs on the wall, and Monica Lewinsky is performing oral sex on him.
Clinton doesn't like the hanging by the thumbs, but decides he can take that for eternity. He tells the Devil this will be his eternal punishment.
Then the Devil says, "OK, Monica, you can go now. Your replacement is here!"
Oh my.. LOL!
Exactly. And what is in his heart?
My statement refers to whether or not he has received salvation from the one and only Saviour, Jesus Christ, therefore receiveing the Holy Spirit in his heart. There was no moral relativism expressed or implied in there.
(Should've made that more clear...)
;) ttt
A close friend of mine in high school was dying of bone cancer.
His Pops hired a nurse with 'special' skills to help attend to him .
He died before he turned 18.
I think it helped make the last couple months more tolerable.
Specifically deals with adultery.
Prov 5:3,4
Says nothing about sex.
Prov 6:24-29
Specifically deals with adultresses.
Lev 19:29; Deut 23:17
A commandment against prostitution. The boy was not a prostitute.
Lev 21:9
Refers to daughters of priests.
Etc, etc. What's your point? Talmudic law explicitly prohibits extramarital sex. Mosaic law proscribes the death penalty (stoning) for it.
My point is simply that folks are claiming the boy is in hell and they are unable to even point to a verse showing what he did was wrong.
Abraham, Jacob, Caleb, Moses, Solomon, David, Saul, etc., etc., etc. had concubines. Not once are they referred to in a deragatory manner. Not once are the men said to have been breaking the law or sinning.
Give me the provision of the Law that prohibits "pre-marital" sex.
I'm still waiting.
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