[Wolfie]

"He's pining for the fields!"

[Bill Rice]

I had a buddy who had a parrot that perfectly mimicked his girlfriend giving him $hit.

JEEZOU -RIII-IICK! JEEZOU -RIII-IICK!

I would take several knocks before I figured out there was no one home, and it was the bird.

[BushMeister]

This is hilarious! Just imagine the buzzing whine of a circular saw. Then imagine a bird sitting alone in a cage emitting the same sound, just to amuse itself!

LOFL!!!

[SocialMeltdown]

This reminds me of a story I read.

Each evening, a man in the country-side of England would go out and hoot like an owl and wait for the owls to reply.

It turned out, however, that there was another man doing the same thing so instead of hooting to owls, they were hooting to each other.

[LostPassword]

I had a friend whose parrot bit his sister - does that count as immitating a moose?

[ChemistCat]

"Guten morgen. Wildemann Animal Rescue. How may I help you?"

"Morgen, I have this parr--">>SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH<<

"Entschuldigung, bitte?"

"I said I have this p--">>SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH<<

*CLICK*

"@#$!!!." BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP.

"Hallo. Kaiserslautern Animal Shelter...."

Loose beaks sink birds.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it had a special skill. It would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot.

One day the women was boasting about her parrot’s prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. “I have a female parrot and she’s just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She’s the most foul mouthed creature I’ve ever heard,” he sighed. “Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.”

The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman’s parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him.

The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, “Hot damn!! This is what I’ve been praying for!!”

[MeekOneGOP]

Here's his cuzzin ...

lookin' for robert blake.....