CLOONEY, CARREY, AND ROBERTS FEED SKID ROW BUMS
LOS ANGELES, CA-- As a humanitarian encore to their highly publicized and praised performances for Hollywood’s Sept. 11th fundraiser (for which Jim Carrey and Julia Roberts each gave over $1 million) the mega-stars joined George Clooney for a day of volunteer food distribution to the needy of Los Angeles.
Located in downtown Los Angeles, the “George Clooney Hollywood Chow Line for Bums on Skid Row” (recently founded by Mr. Clooney himself) served up hot holiday meals to the ever growing (thanks to our Republican president) homeless population.
Wearing gas masks and three-ply latex gloves, Julia, George, and Jim spooned out 600 servings of tomato soup, meatloaf, and mashed potatoes to the happy and hungry crowd.
Sadly, Bill O’Reilly cast a pall over the event when he called into question the number of people who were actually fed.
An angry and confused Jim Carrey declared on Oprah Winfrey later that day that he scooped out 600 servings of mashed potatoes and just because there may or may not have been anyone holding a plate out to receive the servings was not his problem.
Said Clooney on the David Letterman Show, “O’Reilly is a swarthy, dark-skinned Irish bully who probably has been in a lot of barroom brawls where he gets drunk and sucker punches people.”
A somewhat irate Julia Roberts explained in a phone call: “I looked up Bill O’Reilly in the dictionary and he came between “Bill O’Why Can’t I Be Loved By Hollywood” and “Bill O’Repulsive.” She then said that it was mean for Bill O’Reilly to question the good deeds of people like her.
(it's a joke.)