I am a Muslim Woman

My name is Furi Setio Rini and I am a Muslim woman. I am 20 years old and live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am attending my third year of medical school at Trisatki University. My friend, Ronin, asked me to write this because he is very disturbed about the hatred of Islam that he is seeing on your board.

What can I say about me? Well, I think I am an average Indonesian girl. I like movies and music. I love to shop for new clothes. Sometimes I eat too much. I do not like the music that is too loud. I don't like politics and I don't understand them.

I have to laugh when I hear western people talk about Muslim women. Somehow they think that all of us are beaten by men and treated like animals. If you had ever seen my father, my brothers and me, running away from my mother when she was angry, you would know how silly that is.

I have never worn a veil. I wear make up and I use lipstick. Except on the days I go to Mosque. On those days I clean myself as much as I can. I do not believe that it makes much difference to God, but I want him to see me with my true face, and heart.

I have two brothers. One of them is older, the other is younger than me. I guess that they are like brothers everywhere. Sometimes I love them. Sometimes I hate them. Sometimes I wish I could kill them. But no, that is a lie. Even when I think I hate them, I love them. They are my brothers, my family. I love and respect my father and my mother. I adore my father and hope to find a husband just like him.

I have not been kissed yet. And I have not been held as a woman wants to be held. Yes, I want it. Yes, I dream about it. But I can wait until I find the man I will marry. And no -- it will not be a marriage arranged by my parents. I will choose my husband, and he will choose me. We will marry because we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. God willing.

I am studying to be a doctor. It is my best dream and ambition to be a doctor in a small village where doctors are rare. I want to be able to help the most common people of my country. I want to make life better for them. I want to bring happy and healthy babies to loving mothers and proud fathers. I want to give comfort to the old people who have so much to teach us. I want to share my love with true and real results.

I am not perfect. I am quite lazy sometimes and I have to force myself to studies on days when it is too hot, or at times when there are so many other interesting things to do. But this is a story about Muslim women, so maybe I should talk about that a little. What is Islam to me? This is a question that is very hard for me to answer. Islam is in my blood. I pray to God each day. I ask for health and happiness for my family, my friends and my country. More than that I cannot say. I love God and I pray to Him daily. . Is that any different from you?

I pray to God each day for wisdom. But the newspapers and the television and the radio shows me nothing but images I do not want to see. I can't stand the pictures I see.

I hate it almost as much as I hate pediatrics class. Not because I hate newborn babies, I love them. I want my own babies. But, I hate learning about the illnesses and the horrible conditions that can happen when a baby gets sick.

My heart cries. Sometimes, just opening the textbook is a horror. To see a stillborn baby makes a small death inside me. But I must learn, because if I cannot learn to treat them and make them well, more babies may die. I cannot think of anything worse.

I think that most Indonesian girls are like me. And, most Indonesian boys are like boys everywhere. They like cars and sports. They play music too loud. When they think they are so cool and exciting, they are usually very boring. The television and radio you see is not showing you the proper vision of my country or my people. We live and we love. We go to restaurants, movies, and clubs.

I do not drink alcohol, but I do not find that a hardship. (I did have a glass of red wine once. It did not taste very good.) My father and my brother smoke cigarettes, but I don't. No, we do not eat pork.

Men say that the words of God are in the Holy Quran, the Christian Bible and in the Jewish books. I do not know about that. I read the Holy Quran and try to live my life in the teachings that it contains. But inside my heart I know the only commandment of God is love. I love God. And I know that God is love.

I appreciate the poster, Ronin, if indeed she is sincere. If not, that is her problem.

We know there are many great Muslim people. However, one of your radicals murdered thousands of our countrymen and women. Here are the things I question.

How come Muslims are not proclaiming loudly that these men doing these atrocities do not represent the real Muslim religion or our god? How can you sit by quietly when such a man brings such dishonor on your religion, your countrymen and your god and religious belief?

How come Muslims do not seek to help the victims? Instead, they just rail at the suspected profiling or persecution of Muslims and Arabs in the U.S. They appear to care not about those harmed and only care for themselves. How come we don't hear these same rants about the persecution of the Muslims by the Taliban and the abuses of Bin Laden against other Muslims if he indeed does not represent the Muslim faith?

We realize we are not seeing these expected reactions and we wonder why if as you say these people are loving?

What we fear? We fear the knowledge that your religious teachings tell you not to put yourselves under the control of non-Muslims. This means, your people will abide our country until you get enough strength to overtake it. Then we would be controlled and our freedom of religion taken away. We will not accept that. This country was formed by those seeking freedom of religion and we will not tolerate it being taken away.

Another view of a Moslem

An Uneasy Tolerance

One American Muslim's view of how forces of hatred find a home in otherwise beneficent mosques and Islamic centers

by Mustafa Saied
special to MSNBC.com

Oct. 3 — Ever since America was attacked Sept. 11 by suspected Muslim extremists, there has been a remarkable emphasis on displaying tolerance and understanding towards Muslims living and practicing their faith in the United States. As Americans are called to show respect towards Arabs and Muslims in their midst, it is only fair that the American Muslim community take an introspective look at their own action.

THOUGH THERE ARE many sincere and observant Muslims in America, it is also a fact that in mosques, Islamic centers and Muslim student associations in this country that are funded by extremist factions in Saudi Arabia, anti-American sentiments are commonly intertwined with religious teaching.

As a longtime member of the American Muslim community, I have a unique perspective on this. Born in India, I came to the United States on a student visa. Though the adjustment was easy because it had always been my dream to live here, during my college years I became involved with some extremist Muslim groups. I must admit that some of my conversations on campus were quite insensitive and hateful towards the United States and western civilization as a whole.

I left those ideas behind years ago, when I was fortunately convinced by some friends that these extremist teachings are alien to Islam. Now, as an American resident, I feel it is time to call attention to what goes on inside some Islamic organizations in the United States that function as enclaves of extremism.

RIDICULE AND SUSPICION
Anti-Americanism takes many forms, from a general suspicion of all things non-Muslim to the ridicule of American values and culture, to, in the most extreme cases, outright statements of hatred couched in the language of religion.

In some Muslim communities, it is not unusual for non-Islamic religious or cultural observances to be ridiculed. I have attended Friday congregational prayers in the week before Christmas, Halloween or Thanksgiving in which the sermons are marked with sarcastic references to American religious and cultural practices. This strikes me as hypocritical, especially considering that greetings on the Muslim Eid holidays from non-Muslims are received with pride, but members of most mosques are forbidden to acknowledge their neighbors’ celebration of Christmas or return a holiday greeting.

Parents are increasingly encouraged to send their children to Islamic schools because of a rising sentiment in the American Muslim community that the nation’s public schools are not safe, that they teach anti-Islamic subject matter and that their children are better off surrounded by Muslims rather than non-Muslims. I have not known any of these Islamic schools to encourage or practice the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance, so I still fail to see how patriotism is in any way condoned, inculcated or preserved in the minds of our children.

The most extreme manifestation of anti-American sentiment is in the handful of mosques, Islamic centers and student groups that are controlled by forces that display a particularly venomous hatred towards the Western society. The teachings of religious experts — ancient ones, like Ibn Taymiyyah, a Saudi scholar of the 13th and 14th centuries — or recent leaders like Saudi Sheikh Albany or Abdul Wahhab are notable for their harsh rulings and strong words against non-Muslims.

SPORTS IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Much of this anti-American sentiment takes place out of sight, cloaked in language most Americans cannot understand and in communal religious activities that take place outside the mainstream. But sometimes it comes to the surface. A few years ago, for instance, when the media focused on basketball star Mahmoud Abdul Rauf’s refusal to stand during the singing of the national anthem, Rauf, then a player on the Denver Nuggets, received a great deal of public support from the American Muslim community.

It’s hard to say exactly why Rauf’s co-religionists rallied to his cause: was it because a Muslim sports hero caught in a controversy deserved unconditional Muslim support? Or was it that these Muslims — many of whom carry American passports — felt the American national anthem did not deserve respect? In the end, Rauf came to terms with the issue by agreeing to stand, but silently pray, during the playing of the national anthem. In the aftermath of Sept. 11, I wonder how many American Muslims now regret their involvement in this cause.

FLAGS AND PASSPORTS
A prevailing argument among some Muslim critics is that the American flag stands for the various oppressions and injustices of American foreign policy. But if the American flag is problematic for some American Muslims, what does holding an American passport represent? If they feel so strongly about it, shouldn’t these critics be turning in their passports?

Muslims living in this country and enjoying its freedoms should stop tolerating hate-filled speeches against the West in its centers and houses of worship. Now is the time to discourage anti-social elements within the Islamic centers and mosques. It is not enough for people to simply say that they do not agree with extremist rhetoric. Individuals have a responsibility to voice their concerns and put the pressure on the community to stop tolerating it.

And, if it comes to this, Muslims of good will should be ready to report extremists in their midst to the proper authorities, if they do not tone down their rhetoric — no matter how pious these extremists may claim to be. We cannot let the brotherhood of religion outweigh the security of our country and the responsibilities we have as American citizens.

Introspection is never really painless. The time has come to step up.

Mustafa Saied wrote this commentary for MSNBC.com

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