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ANN COULTER: THE EUNUCHS ARE WHINING
Yahoo! ^ | 10/31/2001 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 10/31/2001 6:37:34 PM PST by Pokey78

We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.

With the media suffering from fainting spells, the country is being run by people who can splice cables and land jets on ships in the dark of night. These are men, a subspecies of Americans heretofore invisible to the elites. But now the elites are complaining that the men aren't working fast enough.

Not exactly smashing stereotypes of liberals as mincing pantywaists, the left's entire contribution to the war effort thus far has been to whine. In lieu of a military response against terrorists abroad and security precautions at home, liberals would like to get the whole thing over with and just throw Jerry Falwell in jail.

Walter Cronkite, better known as president of the Ho Chi Minh Veneration Society, has compared the Rev. Falwell to the Taliban. In response to Falwell's comment that gay marriage and abortion on demand may not have warmed the heart of the Almighty, Cronkite proclaimed it "the most abominable thing I've ever heard."

Showing the dispassion and critical judgment that earned him the moniker "the most pious blowhard in America," this self-serving, multimillionaire Martha's Vineyard boob accused Falwell of "worshipping the same God as the people who bombed the Trade Center and the Pentagon (news - web sites)."

Liberals compare Jerry Falwell to the Taliban, but then are furious with George Bush for not being Jesus Christ. Evidently, what a president is supposed to do when the girls are scared is develop complete omniscience and omnipotence. Thus, the media repeatedly expound upon the proposition that what Bush should have done in response to the anthrax mailings is: Instantly produce the culprits and put an end to this madness!

The New York Times has been issuing daily harangues on this point. The cover story of last Sunday's Week in Review section ("Efforts to Calm the Nation's Fears Spin Out of Control") lectured Bush: "People in the grip of fear want information that holds up, not spin control."

Men are out in the driving rain trying to change a tire, while the womenfolk sit in a warm roadside cafe demanding to know what's taking so long. Just pipe down! The men are working as fast as they can.

In fact, no one is in the "grip of fear" over anthrax except the media and their most gullible targets, liberal women. Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking. But the media are working overtime to create a Princess Di-like hysteria in Manhattan suburbs.

Every death, including the thousands murdered in the womb every day, is sad. But let's not forget that the mass mailing of anthrax spores has killed only four people so far. These are tragic occurrences, as are the deaths from car accidents, drowning and fire since the attack. So far the anthrax mailings don't hold a candle to the slaughter of 9-11.

But the Times is furious with Bush every single moment he delays in bringing back the halcyon days when liberals could attend Calvin Klein fashion shows free of anxiety. "Again and again in recent weeks, administration officials tried to reassure the public; again and again, the situation proved more serious than the officials had suggested."

It seems that a more soothing response to a bio-terrorism scare would be for the administration to have God-like omniscience about the anthrax mailings, including predicting all future mailings.

Frank "No, No, Nanette!" Rich recently emitted an interminable screech on the op-ed page of The New York Times denouncing the Bush administration for not solving the anthrax cases already: "The most highly trumpeted breakthrough in the hunt for anthrax terrorists -- Tom Ridge's announcement that 'the site where the letters were mailed' had been found in New Jersey -- proved a dead end."

As Irish playwright Brendan Behan said: "Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: They know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." (It's no surprise Rich is afraid of the mail: He's afraid of me. Just last night he refused to be in the "Politically Incorrect" greenroom with me.)

Go listen to a Rodgers and Hammerstein sound track and try to stay calm, Frank. Patriotic Americans are doing their best to protect theater critics quaking in their Upper West Side redoubts.

Maureen Dowd, another hysterical Times columnist, is still indignant that George Bush wouldn't have asked her to the prom. "Polo at Yale is a bit different than the Afghan version," she sniffed. Three weeks into the war and she's already calling it "Operation Quagmire."

Women -- and I don't mean to limit that to the biological sense -- always become hysterical at the first sign of trouble. They have no capacity to solve problems, so instead they fret. But despite the fearful fifth columnists whiling away the war naysaying America's response, we will win this war.

You just stay warm, girls; the men are fixing the car.


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: coulter
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To: Pokey78
I watched The Nation's Jonathan Schell on Charley Rose last night and kept searching for the proper metaphor to describe his stance. I never quite found one that was satisfactory. But, not to worry, Ann Coulter came to my resuce with this column. It describes him to a "T".
41 posted on 10/31/2001 7:34:07 PM PST by beckett
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To: Doc On The Bay
Jay Severin and Ann Coulter are nothing alike. Severin is a pro abortion libertine who backed John McCain and still worships at his altar while all the while insisting that he is the best and the brightest. Ha!

Ann on the other hand is a pro life conservative who understood from the beginning that McNut was just that, an anti-constitutional nut.

I do have a suggestion for Jay however, who bashes the President on a daily basis for what Severin calls "war crimes" which in Jays world means Bush hasn't nuked somebody today. The Northern Alliance is looking for a few good men. Seeing as how Jay has often spoken of his regrets at having not worn the uniform, he could join the "elite" Northern Alliance and do some of his own killin! OOhrah!

42 posted on 10/31/2001 7:34:47 PM PST by jwalsh07
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To: Pokey78
Very well said!
43 posted on 10/31/2001 7:39:56 PM PST by Standing Wolf
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To: jwalsh07
OUCH!!

Doc

44 posted on 10/31/2001 7:41:05 PM PST by Doc On The Bay
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To: jude24
This one was good too:
"Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking." No wonder Rush calls them sucker moms.
45 posted on 10/31/2001 7:47:01 PM PST by Let's Roll
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To: Pokey78
We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it...Mort Kondrake made a good point the other night - leftwingers are always outraged about "hate crimes", deploring the fact that anyone should engage in hatred of anyone else - except now that terrorists hate the U.S., in which case their new gambit is to try to understand the haters and to agonize over why they hate us...
46 posted on 10/31/2001 7:48:15 PM PST by Intolerant in NJ
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To: Pokey78
Go listen to a Rodgers and Hammerstein sound track and try to stay calm, Frank. Patriotic Americans are doing their best to protect theater critics quaking in their Upper West Side redoubts.

speaking of which, did you see the sunday nyt mag article by frank rich on rodgers? it made me wanna puke.

the rodgers family have discovered that their father wasn't a real human being, but meanwhile, they don't mind the money they inherited.

47 posted on 10/31/2001 7:50:50 PM PST by ken21
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To: Pokey78
'eunuchs'! 'peterless' jennings to a 't'!!! lol!
48 posted on 10/31/2001 7:51:15 PM PST by rockfish59
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To: Pokey78
We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.

I am completely in awe of this passage...

49 posted on 10/31/2001 7:52:21 PM PST by Dan Day
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To: Pokey78
Give 'em Hell, Annie!
50 posted on 10/31/2001 7:55:51 PM PST by SurferDoc
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To: Pokey78
There is a G_d in heaven!

MI
51 posted on 10/31/2001 7:58:20 PM PST by My Identity
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To: Pokey78
I am starting to like this chic.
52 posted on 10/31/2001 8:07:19 PM PST by VaBthang4
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To: Pokey78
Ooooh! That's gotta hurt!
53 posted on 10/31/2001 9:02:23 PM PST by etcetera
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To: WileyCoyote22
Osama Yo Momma. The man who hides in caves and screws goats for a hobby ...

That's terrible. Not only does he have Cheney's goat, but.... That's terrible.

54 posted on 10/31/2001 9:06:49 PM PST by Elihu Burritt
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To: Pokey78
Article copied, pasted, and mailed to friends. Excellent article, and some outstanding lines!! Go Ann!!
55 posted on 10/31/2001 9:24:17 PM PST by stylin_geek
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To: Pokey78
...man oh man, how I love this lady. She has fire in the belly, and she is dead on the subject. I wish that, at least 10% of the "soccer moms" will have this lady's guts, than we will be in a pretty damn good shape.
Than again, I am not going to hold my nose on that statement.
56 posted on 10/31/2001 9:49:01 PM PST by danmar
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To: savedbygrace
I agree, that is easily the best line in the entire article, assuming you understand "linear thinking".
57 posted on 10/31/2001 10:28:15 PM PST by connectthedots
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To: Pokey78
Walter Cronkite, better known as president of the Ho Chi Minh Veneration Society

ROTFL

58 posted on 11/01/2001 2:29:16 AM PST by riley1992
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To: dubyaismypresident
May God bless and feed Annie C.

Yes....Big Meals for Annie. But hey, It's Ok to love her for her mind....

59 posted on 11/01/2001 3:56:04 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: Pokey78
Ouch! Cronkite: "the most pious blowhard in America". The lanky lioness has just extended her claws and left feathers and shredded chicken meat all over the eastern seaboard. I'm glad she's on our side.
60 posted on 11/01/2001 4:03:22 AM PST by Wm Bach
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