Ode to the Thinnest of Men When I wrote the rules I made sure to define The phrase "stingy jerk" with you in mind. Giving nothing to the hostesses would for you be An improvement over what we usually see. All season long you've given Billie nothing but grief And now you appear like a cheat and a thief And seriously try to deprive all of gifts! Can their be any doubt where you are on Santa's lists? Christmas is but a few days away. I emplore you know now to change your ways. Don't gamble with Santa, don't roll the dice. It's never too late to switch from naughty to nice. Just five more days, that's all the time Left for you to repent and be kind. Do what you have to, eat ice cream, eat cake But find a way to be good, for goodness' sakes. |