The FReeper Foxhole Remembers Bombardment of Fort Sumter(4/12/1861) - Oct 9th, 2003

http://www.civilwarhome.com/CMHsumter.htm ^

[Valin]

And now for some REAL NEWS.

SPACE ALIENS ARE HERE FOR OUR TOOTHPASTE!
They're Light-Years Ahead of Us in Space Travel - but Not in Dental Hygiene, Say Experts


SPACE aliens are not visiting Earth to plot the conquest of our planet or use their wisdom to guide mankind. They're here for our toothpaste!

That's the controversial theory of a British dentist, Dr. Alan Prestwood, the leading expert in a new field he's dubbed "exo-odontology."

"We are thousands of years behind the extraterrestrials in space travel, but we're way ahead of them in dental hygiene," declares Dr. Prestwood.

Such discrepancies occur in many civilizations, the expert maintains.

"By the eighth century A.D., the Chinese already had gunpowder and rockets, yet for centuries to come they used chopsticks to eat because they hadn't invented the simple fork," the Manchester expert points out.

Dr. Prestwood believes the E.T.s have been stealing our toothpaste and applying "reverse-engineering" to try to create a substance that will be as effective on their own choppers.

"It's taken decades because their physiology is so different," he explains.

The exo-odontologist cites the following evidence in support of his theory:

FACT: Widespread UFO sightings in the U.S. began in the early 1950s -- soon after fluoridation of the water helped eradicate tooth decay.

FACT: Classified photos of alien remains recovered from the famous Roswell, N.M., saucer crash show the E.T.'s teeth are yellow and uneven, with several missing. "The photos also show blackened gums," says Dr. Prestwood, who has seen rare copies of the top secret autopsy report.

FACT: While embarrassing rectal probes grab a lot of media attention, far more UFO abductees report having been subjected to oral exams. "Almost 90 percent say aliens closely studied their teeth," Dr. Prestwood reveals.

FACT: When abductees are returned to Earth, a single item is often missing from their pocketbooks and suitcases: A tube of toothpaste.

FACT: Photos of teeth marks left on the arm of an RAF officer who unsuccessfully tried to capture an E.T. in 1971 show five teeth are missing.

FACT: The prevalence of UFO sightings is 20 times the norm in areas where major toothpaste makers have their manufacturing facilities.

Some fellow UFO investigators criticize Dr. Prestwood's research. One says that according to many descriptions, aliens don't have any teeth at all.

To which Dr. Prestwood replies, "That only serves to prove my point."



Published on: September 30, 2003
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/aliens_story.cfm?instanceid=59376

[snippy_about_it]

Thank you SAM for the thread today, long but lots of good background. It seems it had to be done this way, how could SC let anyone but them control the Harbor in the situation that was developing.

Good read. Thanks.

[snippy_about_it]

LOL. Maybe we had a storm last night and that's where the rocks, water and mud developed. ;)

[snippy_about_it]

:)

[snippy_about_it]

Good afternoon Valin. Thanks for the history as always.

[snippy_about_it]

What if you take pleasure in postponing things?

LOL. You're on a roll lately!

Good morning, er' afternoon.

[snippy_about_it]

I wonder if they really market them like that?

As a matter of fact, they do! I made sure some went into all my troop care packages this past year.

[Darksheare]

I missed it I guess.
But I do seem to be standing in a huge amount of now gooey muck.

[colorado tanker]

LOL! Hey, I didn't throw rocks in the foxhole. Fact is, I really don't like foxholes. I always felt safer surrounded by a lot of steel. :)

[Darksheare]

I always felt safer when I wasn't visible.
Or the wargame opfor figured I was unimportant..
*chuckle*

[colorado tanker]

Fort Sumter? Nice read, Sam, but how long will it be before all the neoconfederates land here? :)

Seems to me Maj. Anderson handled the situation just right. He was determined not to fire the shot that he feared would start the Civil War - and he was right that the first shot would do just that. He also handled his command honorably, doing what he could for self defense and surrendering only when the situation was truly hopeless.

I wonder what would have happened if the South hadn't fired, but would have left Anderson alone. Could Lincoln have rallied the North to raise an Army and invade the South if the South hadn't fired first?

[snippy_about_it]

LOL. No last week was all about cans in Darksheare's foxhole and that's only because we told you to. We don't know where the rocks came from. ;)

It's good to be surrounded by steel.

[Johnny Gage]

LOL

My foxhole is surrounded by carpeted walls, with a nice wall mounted desk and a computer, phone, and my am/fm radio.

Oh.. OOPS. that's my cubicle, not a foxhole.

Although, I guess there is not much of a difference between the two.

Let's Roll!

[snippy_about_it]

Nice digs! ;)

[snippy_about_it]

Could Lincoln have rallied the North to raise an Army and invade the South if the South hadn't fired first?

Interesting question. I'm guessing tempers were high in so many places that something had to give somewhere and Sumter just happened to be it.

[Darksheare]

Hey!
He's got a cubicle over there!

[snippy_about_it]

LOL.

Oh no, Johnny, now everyone is going to want their foxhole redone!

SAM and I don't have the supplies, we are getting by on donated cans as it is. Y'all will have to fix up your own foxholes, we'll help with the labor and what we can but the rest is up to you. Johnny must have connections. ;)

[BeAllYouCanBe]

Sam and Snippy,

All interested, desertdog known to Free Republic people who greatly supported him for the last year -- arrived home from Kuwait/Iraq yesterday 48 weeks after beng activated and with about 2 more weeks to spend in the Army.

BeAll

[snippy_about_it]

WOO-HOO
Welcome Home Desert Dog!!!!

Wonderful news about your son, he told me 6 more days last week and we prayed it would be true, this is great!!! Thanks for letting us know.

[Johnny Gage]

LOL!

I guess I could lend a hand too.
But be aware along with the upgrade of your foxhole, there also comes:
1) More work
2) Weekly status reports with time sheets
3) Weekly status meetings
4) Countless emails and memos
5) Sometimes a "pointy-haired" micro-manager