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The FReeper Foxhole - Military Humor, Part 1 - February 5th, 2005
see educational sources

Posted on 02/05/2005 7:06:23 AM PST by snippy_about_it



Lord,

Keep our Troops forever in Your care

Give them victory over the enemy...

Grant them a safe and swift return...

Bless those who mourn the lost.
.

FReepers from the Foxhole join in prayer
for all those serving their country at this time.



...................................................................................... ...........................................

U.S. Military History, Current Events and Veterans Issues

Where Duty, Honor and Country
are acknowledged, affirmed and commemorated.

Our Mission:

The FReeper Foxhole is dedicated to Veterans of our Nation's military forces and to others who are affected in their relationships with Veterans.

In the FReeper Foxhole, Veterans or their family members should feel free to address their specific circumstances or whatever issues concern them in an atmosphere of peace, understanding, brotherhood and support.

The FReeper Foxhole hopes to share with it's readers an open forum where we can learn about and discuss military history, military news and other topics of concern or interest to our readers be they Veteran's, Current Duty or anyone interested in what we have to offer.

If the Foxhole makes someone appreciate, even a little, what others have sacrificed for us, then it has accomplished one of it's missions.

We hope the Foxhole in some small way helps us to remember and honor those who came before us.

To read previous Foxhole threads or
to add the Foxhole to your sidebar,
click on the books below.

Military Humor



THE REAL NAVY!

There is segment of the US population who know too little of true Navy life. We all have friends, co-workers, and family members that think that the REAL Navy is a "TOP GUN " existence. You know those people that have watched one too many episodes of " JAG ", and think that the Navy life is glamorous.

Here are a few suggestion for those people on how they can experience Navy life, right in the comfort of their own homes.

Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.

Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the drywall.

Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement " deck gray. "

Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go to the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 for a beer until you are hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

On Mondays. Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesdays and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. on Saturdays and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.

Raise your bed to within 36 inches of the ceiling.



Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout, "Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out."

Have you mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the next day and read it to you.

Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for 3 days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "secured, contact OA DIV at X-3053."

Submit a written request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's o.k. for you to leave your house before 3pm.

Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home.... you can't leave until the next day.

Shower with above mentioned friends.

Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home, for example, become a dishwasher operator, blender technician etc...

Walk around your car for 4 hours and checking the tires pressure every 15 minutes.

Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly " lit off "

Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.

Repaint your entire house once a month.

Cook all of your food blindfolded, grabbing for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on. Now, chow down! you have 5 minutes....

Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month. losing every 5th item.

Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the weather channel.

Have your 5 year old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.

Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe and call it "world travel ."

" Needle gun " the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.

When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack and order them to man their battle stations.

Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. then make them wait in line for at least an hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham and hot dogs. repeat daily until they don't pay attention to the menu anymore and they just ask for hot dogs.

In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals.

Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. then tell them that at the end of the 6th week, you're going to take them to Disneyland for " weekend liberty ". when the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that they need to get ready for E-cert, and that it will be another week before they can leave the house.




FReeper Foxhole Armed Services Links





TOPICS: VetsCoR
KEYWORDS: freeperfoxhole; history; militaryhumor; samsdayoff; veterans
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To: alfa6

I love it when a plan comes together.


101 posted on 02/05/2005 10:56:50 PM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: Professional Engineer
I finally have an organ donor oven.

Spoken like a true engineer.

102 posted on 02/05/2005 10:57:38 PM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: Professional Engineer

:-) Love hearing good news.


103 posted on 02/05/2005 10:58:10 PM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: PhilDragoo

Evening Phil Dragoo.

I would have never slept my entire tour if I was on a ship.


104 posted on 02/05/2005 11:03:26 PM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: SAMWolf
I was about six when my grandmother took me on a trip: a DC-3, a Pullman railway car with sleeper, a lake liner (S.S. North America), a limo tour to Niagara Falls.

What impressed me at the time was the rolling of the liner and continually waking because of it.

The best part was going through a Plymouth plant and watching the bodies come down on the frames.

Did not actually go over the Falls but saw the barrel stave in the museum, which, with an arm, was all that was left of that adventurer's attempt.

And so I have introduced legislation to release all Gitmo detainees. . .over the Falls. . .in pork barrels.

105 posted on 02/05/2005 11:18:54 PM PST by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: snippy_about_it

rather ironic that a picture of my old "Home away from home" was used for the first part..... ack!

;-)


106 posted on 02/05/2005 11:23:29 PM PST by tarawa
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To: PhilDragoo
And so I have introduced legislation to release all Gitmo detainees. . .over the Falls. . .in pork barrels.

Sounds like a plan.

107 posted on 02/06/2005 12:05:46 AM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: PhilDragoo

BTTT!!!!!


108 posted on 02/06/2005 3:02:17 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: Professional Engineer

LOL!

Be careful you don't roust any aliens with that thing.
/ joke


109 posted on 02/06/2005 5:54:24 AM PST by Darksheare ("Cast off your amazing human ruse and show them our mighty robot form!" - but I'm a ghost!)
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To: SAMWolf

LOL!
True.


110 posted on 02/06/2005 6:06:46 AM PST by Darksheare ("Cast off your amazing human ruse and show them our mighty robot form!" - but I'm a ghost!)
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To: SAMWolf
a box of Grid Squares. :-)

ROFL

111 posted on 02/06/2005 7:35:16 AM PST by Professional Engineer (Did I mention I like flags?)
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To: SAMWolf; msdrby
Now... It's Miller Time.

ROFLOL That's a good one.

BTW, Msdrby's dad used to work at Miller Brewing in Ft. Worth.

112 posted on 02/06/2005 7:37:03 AM PST by Professional Engineer (Did I mention I like flags?)
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To: tarawa

Have you seen the Foxhole thread where Snippy and Sam visited the USS Tarawa?

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-vetscor/976430/posts


113 posted on 02/06/2005 7:42:57 AM PST by Professional Engineer (Did I mention I like flags?)
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To: XquisiteKorpse; snippy_about_it; Billie
Here's some info I found on Jimbo's Circus on a dead website. None of the links work, but you may be able to get a name that you can follow up with.




8th Air Force

94th Bomb Group, 333rd Sq.
B-17 'Jimbo's Circus'
Stevenson Pages:
Gonzo Gardening
Birdies
94th Bomb Group,
8th Air Force,
B17 Heavy Bombers
Eastern Star











My uncle, Harry Kennedy, is second from left (standing). I am not sure of the history of the ship they are pictured with here. Harry's older brother and pilot, Jack Kennedy, was stationed in the Pacific at B-17 island sites.



Jimbo's Circus crew: Front row, left, Dick Howell, Bob Nellis (Ball Turette), Jim Gardner (Engineer). Back row, left, Ben Guberman (Radio), Howard Joplin (Togglier Bombardier).
Rougham Airfield,
Bury St. Edmunds,
England.
Wartime home
to 94th BG.

Above, from left, at Palace Hotel for R&R July 1945, Harry Kennedy, Dick Howell, McGill (Navigator).

Photo left, Jimbo's Circus pilot Jim Schubert (left) and McGill.





July 1945, Jimbo's Circus crew, from left: McGill (navigator), Jim Schubert, Harry Kennedy.


Photo below, recent Save Rougham Airfield fly-in.





Geneology: Geneology Home Page| Timelines | Immigration |
Stevenson Family Pages: Gonzo Gardening | Birdies | 94th Bomb Group, 8th Air Force, B17 Heavy Bombers | Eastern Star |
Parent company: thyracorp
Revised 06/03/01

114 posted on 02/06/2005 8:23:14 AM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: tarawa
rather ironic that a picture of my old "Home away from home" was used for the first part..... ack!

LOL. You know that "old home" of yours has a special place in my heart, had to use it. ;-)

115 posted on 02/06/2005 8:27:12 AM PST by snippy_about_it (Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
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To: PhilDragoo
"you should have thought of that before leaving home"

LOL.

Good pics Phil, thanks and thanks for our Foxhole Hagar update. :-)

116 posted on 02/06/2005 8:40:31 AM PST by snippy_about_it (Fall in --> The FReeper Foxhole. America's History. America's Soul.)
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To: Professional Engineer

Be careful! LOL! Not only HIGH VOLTAGE, MICROWAVE HI POWER RF, etc. Also you don't want what happened to us. The neighbor lady called the cops on us claiming UFOs had landed when we build something bigger than the average bear. :-)


117 posted on 02/06/2005 8:45:19 AM PST by RadioAstronomer
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To: RadioAstronomer; Professional Engineer

HEY!! I dread thinking what you two could come up with together. The Dr Strangelove Doomsday Device comes to mind


118 posted on 02/06/2005 8:50:21 AM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: Professional Engineer

That was a great T-Shirt. :-) I was sooooo un-PC


119 posted on 02/06/2005 8:51:12 AM PST by SAMWolf (Speed doesn't kill, running into slow things kills.)
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To: SAMWolf; Professional Engineer
The Dr Strangelove Doomsday Device comes to mind

Noooo. Nothing quites so droll! We have bigger plans. :-)

120 posted on 02/06/2005 8:57:41 AM PST by RadioAstronomer
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