Posted on 11/23/2002 5:07:20 PM PST by Ex-Wretch
Mal. 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Jesus told the woman at the well (John 4:18). John the Baptist told Herod (Matt. 14:4). Up until as recently as 50 years ago, divorce and remarriage was well acknowledged as adultery. What has changed? It hasn’t been the Word of God!
The Word of God is quick and, sharper than a two-edged sword! Those who fear God and are led by the Holy Spirit are able to rightly divide and properly discern it. These are they which obey, rebuke, admonish and exhort one another in this sin-sick world. And likewise, they who do not obey (sinners), will take scripture and twist it to their liking so as to “justify” their disobedience and desire for pleasure. They wrest God’s word to agree with their sin. This is basic denial and, the selling of one’s soul for a mess of pottage. And, the biggest offenders today not only commit the sin but teach it and preach it from the pulpit. Woe unto these blind guides! Satan knows the Word of God. He used it to tempt Jesus into “justifying” comfort, disobedience and sin.
Matt. 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
It is God that joins a man and a woman’s hearts together when they, without guile or deceit, vow before Him to bind themselves unto death. Courts only serve the purpose of providing legal witness that two people have voluntarily contracted under the laws of the state … not the laws, commands and precepts of God.
Matt. 6:31,32 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
Matt. 16:18, “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Some will say “doesn’t God forgive the adultery”? Most certainly. He also commands that it be repented of. That means turning away from it. God’s forgiveness is conditioned on our repentance. Jesus said that both he/she who divorces/remarries and him/her that has been divorced/remarried “committeth” adultery. That means that it is not just a one-time past sin but an ongoing sin. A person in a divorced/remarried state is living in a continual state of sin! A one-time forgiveness does not clear your continual sin. It must be forsaken! The adulterous connection must be broken! To choose one’s own way instead of God’s holy command is presumptuous at best and fatal at worst.
Matt. 19:8 “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.”
John 4:17,18 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said unto her, “Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.”
Just like the scribes and Pharisees, others will say that the Old Testament, via Moses, allowed divorce and remarriage. Still, what does the Lord Jesus say? Only because your hearts were so hard and your ways were so carnal. If Moses hadn’t allowed you to separate you would have killed each other! (paraphrasing) But where, may I ask, is Jesus’ approval of divorce and remarriage? You won’t find it because he never gave it!
Matt. 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
Matt. 6:14,15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, “With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.”
Still, many will say “if the wife or husband is unfaithful then the marriage covenant has been broken and the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry”. Is that so? What does “for better or for worse” mean if not this? If, after coming to a saving relationship with Christ, you fall and sin, is He free to divorce you? Are we not to emulate our Lord? Isn’t this what being Christ-like is all about? Of course it hurts to be cheated on! Yet, if we do not forgive as He forgives us, we have the full assurance of His Word that our heavenly Father will not forgive us! Is hanging on to your hurt and bitterness worth eternal damnation? Forgive. Forget. Surrender all to Jesus. Be healed. Seventy times seven.
Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Yes, marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. Jesus is the head and we are the body. The man is to be the head but, he is to be under Jesus as Head. He is to provide for his wife and direct the family as he also submits to the guidance and direction of the Lord. Just as he expects his wife to yield unto him, he must also yield unto Christ. If he will not submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in his life, he cannot even govern his own life righteously.
Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”
And to those who say “it is too hard” or “unnatural” to live alone without a mate, well, Jesus proved it was possible to abstain from sex. Isn’t God’s grace enough to keep you? It’s enough to save you but not enough to keep you from sinful sexual relations?
Matt. 19:12 “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”
And what if your spouse has divorced you? Even if it was for Christ’s sake? How are we to live then? Is it possible to live a life holy and pleasing unto the Lord when all that is natural screams out for the companionship and affection of a mate? Remember friend, our dear Lord was also fashioned after a man and was in all points tempted as we are. He died and rose again so that we could have power in this life over sin, the devil and the flesh! We are to walk as he walked. Yes! It is possible to be delivered and kept from yielding to the carnal lusts and live in victory over sin!
Phil. 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
It at least gives pause to the idea of remarrying the same person after they have remarried and divorced again. Yes, it's Old Testament....but until one ascertains the reason behind this law (and God calls it detestable), then one should be cautious. Perhaps it is some form of fornication/pornei. Perhaps it's "manipulating serial monogamy" that God opposes. Perhaps there is some actual biological issue involved.
Deuteronomy 24 1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD . Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Deu 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.
Of course, this would require a truly submissive spirit unto the Lord to do it.
I think that you make an excellent point. This is another reason why we are not to be too hasty in laying hands on any man.
I am not going to say that divorce and remarriage automatically disqualifies a man from the pastorate, but I think that he is going to face an uphill climb. He is going to have to demonstrate a definite calling from God along with a clear understanding of the factors leading to his marital break-up before I am going to participate in his ordination.
Something that keeps coming to my mind and I don't think it has been referred to yet is Genesis 2:24.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
If two people are one flesh, they divorce and either (or both) of them remarry, are they "one flesh" with their new spouse? If so, this leads me to wonder how many times can a person become "one"?
Just another something to consider.
Question: What constitutes being a "good steward" (I hope you're not going to say keeping them all together "at all costs")
It's a good question, cj.
The "low" view is that "one flesh" simply means they become joined in a new person....i.e., a baby. Their children are a combination of them.
A "higher" view is that they are intertwined in spirit via the union of the flesh to such an extent that they can grow to an incredible unity of heart, mind, and purpose.
I believe, in addition to the "higher" view above, that there is an actual biological something that occurs when they share intercourse with one another. I think their bodies "adapt" or "adjust" to the presence of the other.
Is it possible that there are biological illnesses that result from having too many sex partners and confusing the "oneness" law that you so appropriately point out?
Most "younger" married people have watched fairy tales where it is ALWAYS happily ever after..then they got older and they see projected in movies and TV (and the culture in general) "If it feels good do it"..If you are not "happy" then you need to go find "happiness" So you have Liz Taylor with a string of spouses
If you ask almost any long married couple you will find out there were many times they were NOT happy in that marriage ..or that they no longer "loved" their spouse.
But here is the truth love is an evolving emotion..there is the crazy hormonal sexual love , thus the desire to be with and touch ALL the time..It is the "burning breast " that the Mormons speak of..then there is the phase where it quiets and starts to become a more steady dependent emotion...needing the other for support and help and assurance along with the sexual componant...the craziness goes and the major marker is an enduring friendship..and mutual admiration.
Moving through the various stages ..and sometimes swinging between them can cause alot of emotional times..
I have been married 41 years..there were at least three times I wanted to 'pack it in"..I stayed and worked them through because we had kids AND I have a COVENANT with God and my Husband..I did not stay for ME
I am being very blunt here, because I think it is important for people raised in broken homes and people with only one parent , that have never seen adults WORKING out their marriage , to understand marriage is not a fairytale..it is a living contract that needs constant updating and flexibility. Love changes ..we change , what we want changes it is work
First, second or third conversion! ;^)
Is the remarried person living in adultery if he asks forgivness yet continues to live with the second spouse?
If a valid marriage ends in a civil divorce, then remarriage seems to be an oxymoron. While the first wife lives can there be a valid marriage between the divorced husband and another woman?
Today's marriages are discarded at an alarming rate. If one is not "happy", then they'll just get a divorce.
I also agree with xzins's "higher view" in #48: "they are intertwined in spirit via the union of the flesh to such an extent that they can grow to an incredible unity of heart, mind, and purpose."
Are there biblical allowances for divorce? Yes, and those have been (and are being) discussed on this thread. But "I'm not happy" and "I don't love you anymore" and "I just don't want to be married anymore" are NOT biblically justified reasons to walk away from a marriage.
Marriage is a God-ordained, God-given lifelong commitment to love, honor and cherish the one whom God has given you. Is it always easy? No. Is it always happy? No. But it is a commitment and today's "easy come, easy go" society today doesn't seem to understand that concept.
They have all seen us work out our marriage and they expect to do the same.
Personal witness is one of the best tools we have to pass on the faith.
Does it really matter,anymore?
Pokin' a little fun at Mom.
Actually, divorce is at a horendous rate. What is it now? 6 out of 10. Its awful. And so many suffer from this sin. A good example of how public sin really is!
The first recorded "offical" marriage was I believe Ahab and Jezebel ...Before that time a man taking his "bride " into his tent and having sex with her constituted a marriage
On that topic God say and the two became one flesh
If in Gods eyes sex seals a marriage..then kids, that have slept with a series of people are ACTUALLY married to the first one and all others after that (including the one they had a ceremony with) are 'adulterous'
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