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Joseph was already betrothed to Mary...legally married..
Since he discovered her with child, he had to put her death for adultery, publicly condemn her or put her away privately...till the angel spoke to him in a dream...do not fear..take her as your wife..

Deuteronomy 22
22 If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
23 If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, 24 you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death-the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.
25 But if out in the country a man happens to meet a girl pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 26 Do nothing to the girl; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders his neighbor, 27 for the man found the girl out in the country, and though the betrothed girl screamed, there was no one to rescue her.
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. [1] He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Also...a woman who had known another man, was considered no longer fit to be with..

2 Samuel 20
3 When David returned to his palace in Jerusalem, he took the ten concubines he had left to take care of the palace and put them in a house under guard. He provided for them, but did not lie with them. They were kept in confinement till the day of their death, living as widows.

The angel also revealed that the Holy Spirit was her spouse..

Joseph was already betrothed to Mary...legally married.. Since he discovered her with child, he had to put her death for adultery, publicly condemn her or put her away privately...till the angel spoke to him in a dream...do not fear..take her as your wife..

Betrothed isn't married. It is the first stage of a dynastic marriage that does not seal or finalize the marriage. Secondly, he was not going to put her away "privately". The correct word there is "privaly" and has no relationship to the word private. You need to do your homework and stop listening to people who take your money for your religious education.

None of that addresses if they had sex Irish..The bible says she was Josephs wife..I accept that ..what difference would it make?