Bless you, sg, this is exactly what I'm talking about! It grieves me that the perspective you've articulated is often lacking in many of the discussion threads I read here. I'm not saying "pitch doctrine over the edge," but let's incorporate the practical aspects of Christianity (our relationship with Christ) into the discussion. Spurgeon did so, and that's one of the main reasons he was such a powerful preacher, whose ministry continues to this very day (he combined Reformed doctrine with a practical dependence on the Spirit of Christ -- see what power that represents!).
I know what you mean about adherents of Reformed theology who seem to give up when they hit the wall. That is precisely where I was about 17 years ago. My intellectual knowledge didn't get me past a major crisis. It was when I realized that Christ intended us to actually know, in our experience, His grace and His adequacy to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves in times of real crisis, that my faith came alive again. It didn't change what I had come to understand, and what is usually characterized as "Reformed doctrine." In fact, the practical application of living by grace through faith was entirely consistent with my Reformed understanding (not to mention it was also BIBLICAL!)
If someone was to judge my walk with Christ solely on the basis of my contributions on FR, I am afraid that I would not look so good. Yet, what I do here is but a small (and often insignificant) part of me as a whole. My walk with Christ, my ministry, my study, etc. are the sum of all the parts. of which FR is but a tiny bit.
Yet, I need to remind myself that there are some who will only know me, and what I live and believe, through FR, and to them it is important that I be charitable and consistent.
On the other hand, when you are battling some of the aggregious heresy that turns up on this forum, it is easy to slip into "prophet" mode without the opportunity to revert to "pastor" mode as required.
Thansk for the reminders, especially the reminder to be balanced.