JiC, some people are mature at 19 and some are not. Some people are not mature at 30. This girl already went through some type of loss of her biological father—the story (if we take it at face value) indicates that her stepfather is fully in control with the mother in making this declsion, even as a churchgoer; so her own father was not there to help her.
Surely this primal loss figured into her desire not to abandon her child; and even before that, psychologists have found that fatherless kids will seek to fill that void by engaging in sexual relations, often with a similarly immature partner. Yet when she told her mother she was sexually active, she received no counseling or even a constructive discussion from her mother.
This girl had probably been called upon to support her mother emotionally regarding the absent father, however that took place. Her self-involved mother critically neglected the girl’s home training and kept her untaught.
Her emotional age and desperate need to cling to her remaining biological parent to seek approval rather than go out into a world for which she was not prepared and hustle up funding, a place to live and prenatal services were completely beyond her maturity level, which with children of divorce or the death of a parent can be severely behind schedule.
Christianity is supposed to be about repentance, followed by forgiveness and reconciliation. Many posts above described better responses, such as giving the child up for adoption, which would have required the parents to ditch their self-righteous image and actually support their child in crisis. What she received instead was hypocrisy and punishment. A little baby who might have given joy to a childless couple was destroyed to preserve the parents’ pride. The teen mom is bearing the scars for a lifetime.
I’m just glad she found an understanding man and has been able to have children with him. And because she can never forget the one she felt forced to murder, she is on a mission to help other young mothers. Sounds like constructive atonement to me.
Lots of good points, lots of speculation.
I could speculate on the mother’s behalf. Nobody has heard from her. For all we know, she could have been warning the girl for awhile about sleeping around. Who knows? Sounds to me like the girl also resented her mother by a few of her comments about following rules and being perfect. Maybe the whole pregnancy thing was an act of rebellion. We don’t know. Nobody knows when they’re hearing one side of the story.
In any case, forgiveness and reconciliation are definitely the way forward, the only way forward. Perhaps she could extend some of that forgiveness to her mother as well.
I stand by my original point. She seemed to demonize the mother and boyfriend, with no comment at all about the one truth....she got herself pregnant, knowing it would not be welcomed news and seems to be very quick to blame everyone else for responding in less than perfect ways. Not once did she even hint at any responsibility.
My new daughter-in-law, a lovely girl, had this exact experience. Her and my son are now happily married, they have a little girl together, and my son is the proud step-dad of a beautiful, smart and wonderful 12 year-old girl. I have seen many other girls go through this nightmare. I have lived 70 years and understand more than you realize.