Posted on 12/18/2022 12:24:22 AM PST by Pilgrim's Progress
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. The poor useth intreaties; but the rich answereth roughly. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:22-24).
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14). Prudent is sound in judgment and in practical matters. She is cautious, discreet, sensible, and modest. Later on, Solomon will say, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).
It is not necessary that a man be saved before God will give them a good wife. Certainly, in one perspective, God has foreknowledge and gives a man a virtuous woman knowing that they will both be saved and serve Him. This was true in my case. Neither of us were saved, we were involved in the false cult of Mormonism. God saved me first and then a couple of weeks later, my wife, and we praise Him for His goodness, longsuffering, and love.
Where will a man find a good wife? Generally you can be sure of the Lord’s blessing if you are both actively living for the Lord and in a good, Bible-believing church. It isn’t enough just to say it is good to meet each other in church because in our Laodicean age just about anything goes for a church these days. If the Bible isn’t revered and preached as our final authority, you are not in a church that God will bless. Some will disagree, and we’ll just have to wait until we get to heaven to find out that I’m right and they are all wrong.
If a woman holds the same convictions and is not susceptible to the winds of change and various opinions that are different about every other week, you stand to finding a good mate. Biblical convictions are not something that are only important one day a week for a couple of hours—they are the very roadmap of a believer’s life. Sadly, wisdom has to be clung to during this time because when a couple is dating, one might be something they really are not for the purpose of snaring a mate. It is a sad thing that in America today, many will spend more time choosing their next pair of shoes then they will of picking a mate for a lifetime.
Truly, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” If you find a good one, you better thank God for it!
“The poor useth intreaties,” they beg and plead, while “the rich answereth roughly,” he has a position of strength and he can negotiate his own terms. The rich man doesn’t need you, but the poor man needs some help and he has to be careful how he answers.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly,” to be friendly, a man must “love at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). He can’t be a fair-weather friend and only available when he has a mind to it but must be ever ready to step up and be there when truly needed. He can’t be picky about his friends, and he needs to be capable of overlooking a lot of faults. Now, this does not mean that he accepts their doctrinal errors, or ungodly lifestyle—he is not to compromise his own values in order to have friends, because they will end up pulling them down.
“Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel” (Proverbs 27:9).
Sometimes, “by hearty counsel” a friend may have to tell another friend things they don’t want to hear: “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:5-6). Sometimes, as a their friend, you might have to sit down with them and rebuke them about something. You might have to tell them the truth about something they are doing wrong.
A friend will do that for us, a casual acquaintance would never do that. Somebody just trying to use you will never tell you all the truth about you. A true friend will tell it like it is.
Christ said, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Also, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). A lot of young men found that out in war times, when one of the members of their platoon threw themselves upon a live grenade to save the lives of his friends.
“The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children” (Matthew 11:19).
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