I agree with Irish and Rooster on this being a motivation for atta-boying LGBTQWERTY. But I'd say it's a broader temptation than that. If a person feels guilty over his own hedonistic ways, even if they were done years prior and it was all straight sex instead of gay, embracing LGBTQWERTY practices gives an indirect confirmation to straight sex hedonism as well. Basically, lying to gays about the sex habits is a way to lie to yourself about your straight sex habits.
The best way around this is to: 1) accept God's grace through Jesus. None of your past sin matters anyway -- you don't have to figure out ways to excuse it or justify it. And 2) be serious about Jesus in your lifestyle and your message from now on. Love Him, trust Him, love others, live it like ya mean it, and be bold about Him while being humble about yourself.
“... because many congregants have homosexuals in their families and have a softness for them.”
Years ago we were having this debate in my congregation (mostly liberals - we left). But in one meeting I said “My sister is an alchoholic. She is a wonderful and loving person and I love her. And while I would love it if she would go to church with me - I don’t want her leading it or making decisions for the church. She isn’t a good example as a leader.”
God works in mysterious ways though. She spent 35+ years living in fear of death and all of the bad things she had done and poor decisions that she had made.
Then, while in prison for too many DUI’s, some women ministered to her and she found Jesus. It was amazing the transformation. While she wasn’t able to kick the booze completely (when she got out), the fear and wailing was gone.
Shortly before she died she said “I know I’m dying, but I also know that God has got me.”
Love it.
But regarding the practice of lying to gays about their sex habits as a way to lie to yourself about your own straight sexual history, anyone who can't look at their sinful history and feel disgust is not in touch with or isn't listening to the Holy Spirit. If he were, he would realize (as you say) that nothing short of coming to Jesus on hands and knees would assuage the pain.