Posted on 11/23/2021 5:27:56 PM PST by daniel1212
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the mysterious array of black filing cabinets. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked “Lust,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
And thus To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins, (Acts 10:43) out of a contrite penitent humble heart, (Psalm 34:18) receiving the washing of regeneration, (Titus 3:5; cf. Acts 15:7-9) and are baptized (Acts 10:47) and follow Him. (Romans 6)
However, Scripture not only calls man to repentance and so great a salvation as being forgiven of all sins, but exhorts the believer to continue in the faith, and not be as those who develop an "evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God, drawing back unto perdition, making Christ or no effect, to no profit, falling from grace. (Hebrews 3:12; 10:38; Galatians 5:1-4)
And the latter departing is what sadly and tragically author would later testify to, despite a fruitful great testimony. Joshua Harris become know at the age of just 21, and
"He went straight from writing this best-selling book at 21 to becoming the heir apparent of a mega church outside of D.C. to becoming the senior pastor at the age of 30 before he’d gone to college or gone to seminary.
And then he was the pastor of this large influential church that headed up this much larger network of churches that was very influential within evangelical Christianity. (https://thinktheology.co.uk/blog/article/a_cold_take_on_deconversion_from_josh_harriss_brother)"
I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris’s 1997 book, became one of those very important signal moments in American evangelical culture. It represents, like the explosion of homeschooling itself, a rejection of the dominant model, whereby young people began to develop romantic relationships. It was also steeped in concern about the danger of the hyper-sexualized culture. He followed up I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with another book entitled Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, published in 2000. He became lead pastor of a Maryland mega church in 2004, and he continued in that role until 2015. He also established a series of conferences that were known as New Attitude.
In 2015, he resigned from the church and indicated that he was moving back to the Pacific Northwest, in this case to Vancouver, British Columbia, to study at Regent College and to give attention to theological education...
In 2016, he released a statement in which he apologized to those he described as hurt by the purity culture and the approach that was taken in I Kissed Dating Goodbye...
then came the blockbuster social media posts of July...The news was eventually clarified that the couple is divorcing. ..Harris also posted on Instagram.. "The information that was left out of our announcement is that I have undergone a massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus. The popular phrase for this is deconstruction, the biblical phrase is falling away. By all the measurements that I have for defining a Christian, I am not a Christian. Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I'm not there now."..
he continued, "I specifically want to add to this list now. To the LGBTQ+ community, I want to say that I am sorry for the views that I taught in my books and as a pastor regarding sexuality. I regret standing against marriage equality, for not affirming you and your place in the church, and for any ways that my writing and speaking contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry. I hope you can forgive me."..
before his announcement that he was also divorcing himself from the Christian faith. In this interview, very interestingly, Joshua Harris indicates the extent to which he has separated...
for me, in that change of interpretation of such a fundamental level when it comes to sexuality, it's just hard for me to ... In a way it's almost easier for me to contemplate throwing out all of Christianity than it is to keeping Christianity and adapting it in these different ways.” - https://albertmohler.com/2019/08/01/joshua-harris
Indeed "there were still cards to be written." I hope and we should pray that by the grace of God, who works to chasten us unto obedient faith, for "when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world." (1 Corinthians 11:32) then Harris will find repentance.
Mohler believes that "There may be even some who sin by repudiating Christianity, but if they ever were genuinely Christian, they will return by repentance at some point,...If persons do continue in their repudiation of Christianity, then...They were pretend believers.
However, the premise that you really do not know who is a believer is contrary to Scripture (Matthew 7:20; 1 Thessalonians 1:3,4; Hebrews 6:9,10; 1 John 5:13) as well as absurd, since while the status of some can be doubtful, you can hardly have much Christian fellowship if the regeneration of everyone is doubtful.
And of course, since we are saved by faith and by the merit of obedience, thus Scripture exhorts believers to continue in the faith and warns the same against departing from it, thus forfeiting what faith obtained (as one post among others details: https://freerepublic.com/focus/religion/4011052/posts?page=91#91)
I want to clarify that despite my doctrinal tone, while the decision of Harris is a grave one, yet it is not to be out of some self-righteousness that this is stated, nor self-confidence that we could not fall away. For I think we all backslide to some degree (I certainly do!) , and at times think and even act as if were were not believers. But saving faith is characteristically obedient to the Lord, and which includes repentance when convicted of not being so, in heart and in life. And the author and Captain of our salvation also is the perfecter of faith, thus chastisement is often in order. (Heb. 12)
May Harris find repentance and faith once again, and may we here who are regenerated walk faith out of a contrite penitent heart, by the grace of God.
Ping
Every human soul that has ever lived or ever will live will eventually be aware of the contents of every one of these “files”, by virtue of what the General Judgment holds in store for each one of us.
I got his book soon after it came out. It was a good read and showed truly deep thought toward staying holy when dealing with relationships.
I do not know how he changed into whom he now is, but I sincerely hope he comes to his senses before it is too late.
No, that will be true for the lost in the great white throne judgment (Rv. 20) but for the redeemed their past sins are all washed away, (Colossians 2:13) and there will be no accountability for them.
The judgment of believers is that of the judgment seat of Christ which occurs at the Lord's return, after the First Resurrection, of the Just, which is 1,000 years before the Resurrection of the unjust and the GWT judgment See post https://freerepublic.com/focus/religion/3982118/posts?page=43#43
Do not be in the second one! The redeemed are those who come to God as sinners knowing their desperate need of salvation, not as a souls saved by their works or church affiliation, but as destitute of any means or merit whereby they may find salvation, and with a humble and penitent heart believe on the crucified risen Lord Jesus who alone can save them on His account, by His sinless shed blood and righteousness, and thus experience being born of the Spirit. And thus are baptized and follow Him. (Acts 10:43,47; 15:7-9; John 3:7; Romans 6) Thanks and glory be to God.
I am a sinner, just like everyone else. But I am concerned at some schools of Christianity. To me, they seem like a vast, flowing river that is long, but only a few inches deep. Like the parable of the seed that fell on harsh, rocky soil. It flourished for a time, but then withered and died. Faith must have depth as well as breadth. Salvation comes from God, and it always will. But faith in God requires a decision from us. And it requires a continuing decision, every day, every hour, and every minute. Our faith must be planted in good soil to grow deep roots. It seems this young man had a broad faith with little depth.
CC
Your analysis is perceptive. And often charism is valued over maturity of character (and I a long way to go). And pastor over many church at age 30? "Not a novice...." (1 Timothy 3:6)
General Judgment.
Know it, live it, love it, D1212.
Never forget that everyone will eventually know everything.
Completely ripped off of other pastors. He always was a phony.
“Completely ripped off of other pastors. He always was a phony.”
Let me follow that up. I have met him. I even wrote articles for his short lived magazine in the early 90s. I heard him give this little fantasy in person. He was very passionate (sounding) and emotional. He said it all very convincingly like it was a dream HE had. Even fake tears. It was very moving.
It was also phoney.
Then not long after I heard this same little parable from a pastor in another church. That guy did not pretend he had personally had the dream. Honestly I don’t know where the original source was but I HIGHLY doubt it was Josh.
As for his book.... He was in the homeschooling movement back in the early 90s. That is where I met him. In those social circles back then there was a lot of thought going into changing how dating works to be more godly and less secular. There were plenty of other people lecturing at book fairs on the topic and several other good books that came out before his. His book was ok but did not offer much new on the subject compared to similar books at the time.
Am I judging him? I guess...yeah. His ‘faith’ seemed pretty self serving. Can we all fall? Sure. I do my share of sinning. I probably don’t deserve to cast stones. But then I am not the one who publicly denied Christ.
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