[Renfrew]

Very good points.

I would add that it was the Romans who really hated polygamy, and it was their conquest of Europe that made monogamy the European norm in contrast to the rest of the world.

[sphinx]

I should have added that the problem of a surplus of young men in polygamous societies, even today, is not limited to Muslim/Arab societies. It's also an issue among the semi-underground polygamous Mormon sects that are scattered around the West. The available young women are parceled out in arranged marriages to young men chosen by the elders or the cult leader. If a young woman is lucky, her father is her champion; a good father will consult his daughter's wishes and may have the standing to steer things in a satisfactory direction. My guess is that this is the way arranged marriages have usually worked in all societies; the girls may be formally powerless, but their fathers, brothers, uncles and good neighbors want them to be happy and will try to set them up with a suitable match. The potential for abuse is real and young women can be forced into wildly abusive "marriages," but if the father is a protector, she at least has a chance.

These cults, however, are still left with large numbers of young men who are shut out in the bridal sweepstakes. After being passed over enough times, it becomes clear that they are unlikely ever to be assigned a wife, or at least a wife they would want. They become outcasts. Some are unceremoniously forced out as "lost boys," roaming the streets until they figure something out. I suppose that most are able to find a support network to ease their transition out of the cult into normal society -- people living in the vicinity of polygamous compounds are aware of the problem -- but they are still expelled.

The lost boys issue doesn't get nearly as much attention as it should. The culture is hardwired nowadays to view polygamy in terms of the exploitation of women, which is fair enough, but at least wives in polygamous cults have a licit and honorable place. The lost boys are simply disappeared. There was a tv movie a few years ago, Escape from Polygamy, that touched on this. It was produced in the wake of the Warren Jeffs scandal and was rather topical, being focused on a predatory cult leader and the attempt of a young couple in love to escape before the girl is condemned to a forced marriage. It's an ok movie -- a bit melodramatic in a Lifetime Movie kind of way -- with some good acting. The lost boys do surface as a major subplot.