God bless you, frnewsjunkie, for posting your son’s struggle and his final destination to the loving arms of Our Dear Lord and Savior Christ Jesus. I know it had to be hard on your heart. Thank you.
I had a long talk with my Lord over time. This son was too good for this world.. it will eat the best of us alive .. given half a chance.
he was in NY for 4 yrs with one of the top recording studios... this talented son would not sell himself to the business and the business cut his career .. I either own you or no one will...
he came home an angry man... still the kind caring person but God failed him. that’s how we people decide who we think God is.
I prayed for him fervently. time passed and I so feared he would one day die lost. I could not live with this boy in hell for eternity.. that would have been the end of me
my prayer changed from asking... to a demand. desperate, I went before the Lord and said,,,this is no longer a request.. it’s a demand... and I recited His promises.. and zi added one more sentence.. and I knew what I was saying..
what ever it takes...
I threw it all on God.. and He heard me. you know when you’ve reached your own end.
My husband had died suddenly a few months before... this son was the one who called and kept tabs on his mom.. he was a writer.. a businessman....a master on the piano...a leader and had the respect of all who knew him.
He called me one Feb afternoon.. “are you sitting down..... I have been diagnosed with leukemia”.
God heals.. He can do anything.. and of course he can heal my son...for the next 2 yrs my life was to find a way to save my son.
hospital.. days spent in hospitals... one day he and I went to the top floor of the hospital where there was a baby grand piano.. he was tethered to the tubes... we took it all up.. and he played the piano.. people listened...
He and his wife were made for each other.. she has been such a blessing.
His body took hit after hit.. one day he said ,”I’m losing this battle.”
I sat with him and listened to him talk.. my son.. I hope you never have to go thru that...
I’m going to cut it here.. I am not finished.. and I want to add the rest later.. for anyone who struggles with what many try to make sense of..
the trust and faith...
its to help those who need a little more understanding on our walk...
A year into this battle, he had the vision.. My Lord took the time to go see my son..He didn’t leave us to suffer and live in fear. He took my son.. the one who tried to make God human.. mystery spiritually not understood.. and if we can’t understand.. then God is in our imagination. I pretty much live a life of black and white.. and I font mean races.. He lived in a lot of grey..
He took my son to a heavenly place... it was heaven or close enough. First he saw the 2 who had a message... his dad, and his wife’s brother who died a few years earlier... a young man.
they both told him pride was the one thing keeping so many from knowing our Lord. he had a long talk with his dad... and he never told me the rest ..just pride. he saw many in the distance.. he knew.. He said the love and peace was everywhere... he wanted to stay but his wife would be left...
His wife found him in tears sitting... What does one do after seeing the hands of Jesus and getting a first hand glimpse of what is prepared for us who believe in Jesus.
He prayed and he called me. That is what I had asked for.. redemption... God redeemed.... He even went to see him and showed the glory to him.
After a few more months... with people praying for him all around the world.. he wS losing ground.. He said this is no life.. hospitals... blood transfusion.. its a terrible thing to battle. he called it ended.. just take me home.... I dont want to die in the hospital.
His wife brought him home in a vehicle made for such a trip.. we had 2 weeks with him. His brothers and sister all here .. not believing their brother was going home home... listening to him talk for the time he could. He talked about my grandmother who raised me.. a gentle lady he loved for that special feeling he had around her.. She lost just about everything in her life and never lost her faith in God.. he asked about my mother who died young from pernicious anemia which they had no cure for then.
I was on one side and his wife on the other side.. praying and singing old hymns...day and night...
And I watched my son die... dont ever think God can’t help... God is the reason I can write this ..
Now let me explain faith.. It takes a faith and a trust I did not know was possible.
I wanted to keep my son.. if I could ... I would have begged God.. please don’t take my son... but He did take him.. I know God can heal.. but He took him.
He came to see my son... He could have done anything.. but He took him..
I had to come to... God must know more than I know.. God had a reason to take him.. and I chose to put my faith in my God that He knew what was best.. oh my... it hurts.. Its been 3 years and every day is another day I have not seen him.
but I know where he is and that he is ok.. more than ok.. he has seen Grandma and my mother... he has seen his dad.. he is in no pain.. and I bet God had a baby grand fir him to play on... my dear son... in Glory.. its what I asked for...
Thank the Lord in Glory...
overlook typos please..
God’s blessings to you.