You're not going to get it in your current state, Phil. It is being shown to you repeatedly yet you do not discern it as you play gotcha trying to support your cult's works based religion.
Romans 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
1 Corinthians 2:14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
I think something that is just not sinking into Phil's mind is NOBODY is saying Christians can or should live ungodly sinful lives because they are saved by grace and not works. That is the common accusation most works-based religions make - it was something the Apostle Paul was slammed with, too. But just like he explained, our good works cannot save us, keep us saved or make us in the least bit worthy of God's grace - that's WHY it is by grace. The born again child of God will be disciplined by the Father and continuously undergoing sanctification. Jesus has promised that of all that the Father gives Him he would lose NOTHING, He will never cast us out and we shall never perish but have eternal life. The indwelling Holy Spirit by whom we are sealed until the day of our redemption moves us towards holiness, convicts us of sin and brings us to repentance. Some are further along their path than others, some are more stubborn, some are more submissive just like children are, but God is at work within each one of us conforming us into the image of Christ. If we truly are walking by faith, loving the Lord and being grateful for what He has done for us, we WILL be obedient children. Though we may stumble and fail at times, He is always drawing us back to Him ready to forgive us and restore us to fellowship. But one thing is sure - our good deeds, holy lives or acts of obedience are never part of the salvation equation. The second we start thinking we must add to Christ's righteousness, we stop trusting in Him, we fall from grace.
We cannot know the state of another's soul nor their innermost relationship with God. Only God sees the heart - we can only look on the outward appearance which is why we are told to not pass judgement on someone else's eternal destiny.
"A prince, while he is a little child, is presumably as willful and as ignorant as other little children. Sometimes he may be very obedient and teachable and affectionate, and then he is happy and approved. At other times he may be unruly, self-willed, and disobedient, and then he is unhappy, and perhaps is chastised—but he is just as much a prince on the one day as on the other. It may be hoped that, as time goes on, he will learn to bring himself into willing and affectionate subjection to every right way, and then he will be more princely, but not more really a prince. He was born a prince" (C.I.Scofield, Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth).