“Since I was a small child, I’ve had a visceral sensitivity to others’ pain which is nearly disabling. Dutifully, I read Foxe’s Book of Martyrs and consider thereby that I’ve met my lifetime quota of investigating torture. To the extent I’m able, I’ve decided to keep my sights on our glorious future, in the spirit of Philippians 4:9. (I won’t even watch “horror” movies.)”
You’re a man after my own heart. I too read Foxe’s Book of Martyrs. But I originally was fearful of committing to God after reading the Bible. I knew there was no turning back. It took me two years to commit to Christ. I was comforted by 1 Cor. 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
and finally gave my life to Christ.
I am fascinated by your (all too brief) conversion account. I hereby insist on hearing it in full! But that is not a current demand, because my confident expectation is that a chief topic of conversation in heaven will be each of us relating in exquisite detail exactly how we got there, while everyone hangs on every word.
Indeed, our stories are woefully incomplete now and so almost not yet worth telling, because we haven't yet learned the full backstory from God, as I also expect He will reveal to us.
Once He does, there will be ten or twenty billion saints, each praising God for how He saved them. What a spectacle!
If I may presume to extrapolate and opine on your account, it seems that you lived out Hebrews 11:6, what I've considered for twenty-five years to be the Bible's threshold verse. First, you believed He exists, but it took Him two years to convince you that He would reward you for earnestly seeking Him. You've stated it in simple terms because it really is just that simple: you can answer a resounding "Yes" to both questions in my tagline.