The verse doesn’t mean that “God hated Esau, even before he was born.”
The literal rendering, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated,” suggests an attitude of divine hostility that is not implied in Paul’s statement. In Semitic usage “hate” means to love less; cf. Lk 14:26 with Mt 10:37. Israel’s unbelief reflects the mystery of the divine election that is always operative within it. Mere natural descent from Abraham does not ensure the full possession of the divine gifts; it is God’s sovereign prerogative to bestow this fullness upon, or to withhold it from, whomsoever he wishes; cf. Mt 3:9; Jn 8:39. The choice of Jacob over Esau is a case in point.
God also knew in advance which one would be the one who would choose to follow Him and submit and would be the correct instrument for the line of the Messiah.
So, yes, God chose Jacob, but it was not with the arbitrariness the Calvinist position implies.