“passage that says “upon this rock I’ll print my bible” It has to be in there.
It does not.
Why not? If you lambast every practice of the Catholic Church because it is not "biblical", why can't we question why "Sola Scriptura" cannot be found in the bible?
Where in the bible did Christ say "go and write a book, call it the bible, and base your faith only on what is written in it?