“...When Latin was gone...started to withdraw...”
I started attending only the Trideinnte Latin mass and now feel at peace when I leave mass. Before when I attended the novus ordo, I was agitated upon departure, having been anxious about the handshake, listening to light sounding “ditties” inserted randomly into the liturgy for music, “God” replaced with the pronoun Him, etc.
I recommend considering attending the Tridentine Latin. I go to a diocesan approved mass (run by the local Carmelites).
oops sorry - typo - Tridentine Latin mass