OK, I’ll be serious. I have been LCMS for half my life. I became friends with an Orthodox monk who was interested in Japanese ceramic techniques, and worshipped a few times at their monastery. I discussed doctrine and practice, and the idea of changing to Orthodox crossed my mind more than once. Unfortunately he died unexpectedly, and soon after his archimandrite, the one I was discussing with, was arrested and pled guilty to pederasty, and except for a Greek festival, I have not been with any Orthodox since.
As one who has been there, or at least the other "one true church" (RC) I ask, unless you have not been born from above and grown in grace and knowledge of the Lord, why would you change to a church that is not seen (in its distinctives) in the record of the NT church much like Rome ?
I went to the local GO church a couple of different times to have a Greek supper during their yearly festival. But they had a bar serving booze attached to their banquet hall, so that feature really put the whole denomination way past my boundaries for the function of a Christian church.