“The order is important. First must come before all others, otherwise it is not first.”
What you are missing is that first resurrection and second resurrection are general resurrections (resurrections of great masses of humanity), and there are only two of those. The resurrection of Lazarus, Christ, etc are individual resurrections. You’re trying to connect apples with oranges and it is just leading you into confusion.
“Since the first resurrection in Revelation 20 comes after the resurrection of Christ, there must be some connection to make it fit.”
Why must there be? There’s no connection in Scripture, so you are just plucking this out of thin air, it seems to me. As far as Scripture is concerned, they are entirely seperate events, separated by millenia.
“Can the second resurrection come before the second death?”
Of course it does, Revelation states that plainly.
“Another thing, when Christ died it says that he dismissed the spirit. Was that spiritual death?”
Most translations say he “yielded the spirit”, which is just a euphemism for dying.