Some more detail. That feeling of reverence was so strong I did not feel right entering the Cathedral in my current state of mind. I actually felt a bit dirty. This was a totally new feeling for me, and confusing. But I really wanted to go inside so I decided to willfully suspend my disbelief for the time period I was inside. That was sufficient for me to feel clean enough to go inside.
When I got back out I went back to my old state of mind, sarcastic, dismissive, and unbelieving in Christianity but not completely. There was a subtle change, I was not exactly the same person. For the next two years I repeatedly had to fight off Christ, so to speak. He was like a salesman who I let get his foot in the door and would not go away. Finally I just gave up and bought what he was selling. That was my conversion experience, and it was, to borrow from Seinfeld, spectacular!
As far as Christopher Hitchens, I don’t really have an opinion. I do know he was rebellious right to the end. He was a very smart man and I don’t think he was really an Atheist. He seemed mad at God. You cannot be mad at someone you do not believe exists. Dawkins seems the same way.
Great story, and welcome to the family of God!
God bless you in Christ.
Very insightful. Now that you say that, I see it exactly - that odd note which both of them have. Like someone complaining about someone they have lost - unrequited love.