>> The four A’s-
Adultery
Abuse
Abandonment
Addiction <<
So if you come home and find your spouse sneaking cigarettes, you can divorce them? Sorry, but all concupiscence is addiction. It doesn’t absolve spouses from the need to be forgiving. Likewise, one person’s foibles are another person’s abuse; notions like “emotionally abusive” are far too vague. Unless the adultery, abuse or addiction are so severe that they impair the union (i.e., physical abuse, unrepentant or continuing adultery, drug addiction so severe it destroys the security of the marriage, etc.), you can’t simply say, “Hey, your spouse disqualified the marriage on this grounds! Bye Bye!”
Great points Dangus!
They mirror my concerns also. Many LCMS parishes I have been to have pretty strict guidelines on remarriage in the church (By the pastor). Some of the more “urban” ones do not.
But there needs to be a more defined standard. I have seen to many play the “He/she was X” card, when it was “I wanted someone new”.
But the real ones who suffer are the kids. In annulment cases (like a family member went through), often times there is one party who does not want it, and feels like it says their children are now bastards.
Divorce is a huge issue, and one the Church as a whole runs from. Even the Catholics hand out annulments way to often. Most priests/pastors do not have much in the way of premarriage prep, and those that do are often attacked by the couples and their parents for being to “strict”.
We need to focus on the stuff before the marriage. To many walk into it without understanding that love is a choice, nobody’s perfect, and it takes a lot of work together to make a good marriage. Most don’t even know what love really is.