No matter how you would have phrased the response to her question, her pride would have been hurt. She knows you are straight ... what type of honest response did she expect?
I have worked with gays over the years; we have several gay parishioners and, like you, have a few in our family. The one common thread that binds them is their extreme sensitivity. Their fragile nature cannot deal with an honest response. You probably realize that this "slight" will be used as justification to distance herself and your sister, from you. Science has not found a "gay" gene. So, for us, the question remains - how can someone become gay? One of my aunts had 6 children. When we were all kids, I immediately sensed that one of her boys was different. Back then, we lacked a term to associate with this difference. It wasn't until we grew into adulthood and my cousin became a popular female impersonator that I could connect the dots. Pray for them!
That thought has occurred to me, dear NYer, re: my sister (future collateral damage?). Thanks for supporting me in the view that I am not "nuts" in imagining this possibility.
What I haven't been able to say outright to J or my sister is this: People who live in First Reality, and people who live in Second Reality, have an extraordinarily difficult time in communicating with one another. So much so, that one suspects that the entire point of constructing a Second Reality is to obviate, to "get rid of" First Reality in the first place.
If one can imaginatively dispose of one's own biological nature at will, then why not think that the entire order of Nature is similarly up for grabs? That is to say, subject to a "redefinition" —may I ask, according to what deranged criteria of quasi-human imagination are the things of life being "redefined?"
Anyhoot, what is happening in my family is sad. I'll try to do anything I can to make things better, by the Grace of God.
I better shut up and sign off for now. Thank you so very much, dear sister NYer, for writing!