I Hated the Idea of Becoming Catholic

Aleteia ^ | JUNE 20, 2014 | ANTHONY BARATTA

[NYer]

It was the day after Ash Wednesday in 2012 when I called my mom from my dorm room at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and told her I thought I was going to become Catholic.

“You’re not going to become Catholic, you just know you’re not Southern Baptist,” she said.

“No, I don’t think so.”

A pause. “Oh boy,” she sighed.

I started crying.

I cannot stress enough how much I hated the idea of becoming Catholic. I was bargaining to the last moment. I submitted a sermon for a competition days before withdrawing from school. I was memorizing Psalm 119 to convince myself of sola scriptura. I set up meetings with professors to hear the best arguments. I purposefully read Protestant books about Catholicism, rather than books by Catholic authors.

Further, I knew I would lose my housing money and have to pay a scholarship back if I withdrew from school, not to mention disappointing family, friends, and a dedicated church community.

But when I attempted to do my homework, I collapsed on my bed. All I wanted to do was scream at the textbook, “Who says?!”

I had experienced a huge paradigm shift in my thinking about the faith, and the question of apostolic authority loomed larger than ever.

But let’s rewind back a few years.

I grew up in an evangelical Protestant home. My father was a worship and preaching pastor from when I was in fourth grade onwards. Midway through college, I really fell in love with Jesus Christ and His precious Gospel and decided to become a pastor.

It was during that time that I was hardened in my assumption that the Roman Catholic Church didn’t adhere to the Bible. When I asked one pastor friend of mine during my junior year why Catholics thought Mary remained a virgin after Jesus’ birth when the Bible clearly said Jesus had “brothers,” he simply grimaced: “They don’t read the Bible.”

Though I had been in talks with Seattle’s Mars Hill Church about doing an internship with them, John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life clarified my call to missionary work specifically, and I spent the next summer evangelizing Catholics in Poland.

So I was surprised when I visited my parents and found a silly looking book titled Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic on my father’s desk. What was my dad doing reading something like this? I was curious and hadn’t brought anything home to read, so I gave it a look.

David Currie’s memoir of leaving behind his evangelical education and ministries was bothersome. His unapologetic defense of controversial doctrines regarding Mary and the papacy were most shocking, as I had never seriously considered that Catholics would have sensible, scriptural defenses to these beliefs.

The book’s presence on my father’s desk was explained more fully a few months later when he called me and said he was returning to the Catholicism of his youth. My response? “But, can’t you just be Lutheran or something?” I felt angry, betrayed, and indignant. For the next four months I served as a youth pastor at my local church and, in my free time, read up on why Catholicism was wrong.

During that time, I stumbled across a Christianity Today article that depicted an “evangelical identity crisis.” The author painted a picture of young evangelicals, growing up in a post-modern world, yearning to be firmly rooted in history and encouraged that others had stood strong for Christ in changing and troubled times. Yet, in my experience, most evangelical churches did not observe the liturgical calendar, the Apostles’ Creed was never mentioned, many of the songs were written after 1997, and if any anecdotal story was told about a hero from church history, it was certainly from after the Reformation. Most of Christian history was nowhere to be found.

For the first time, I panicked. I found a copy of the Catechism and started leafing through it, finding the most controversial doctrines and laughing at the silliness of the Catholic Church. Indulgences? Papal infallibility? These things, so obviously wrong, reassured me in my Protestantism. The Mass sounded beautiful and the idea of a visible, unified Church was appealing - but at the expense of the Gospel? It seemed obvious that Satan would build a large organization that would lead so many just short of heaven.

I shook off most of the doubts and enjoyed the remainder of my time at college, having fun with the youth group and sharing my faith with the students. Any lingering doubts, I assumed, would be dealt with in seminary.

I started my classes in January with the excitement of a die-hard football fan going to the Super Bowl. The classes were fantastic and I thought I had finally rid myself of any Catholic problems.

But just a few weeks later, I ran into more doubts. We were learning about spiritual disciplines like prayer and fasting and I was struck by how often the professor would skip from St. Paul to Martin Luther or Jonathan Edwards when describing admirable lives of piety. Did nothing worthwhile happen in the first 1500 years? The skipping of history would continue in many other classes and assigned reading. The majority of pre-Reformation church history was ignored.

I soon discovered I had less in common with the early Church fathers than I thought. Unlike most Christians in history, communion had always been for me an occasional eating of bread and grape juice, and baptism was only important after someone had gotten “saved.” Not only did these views contradict much of Church history but, increasingly, they did not match with uncomfortable Bible passages I had always shrugged off (John 6, Romans 6, etc).

Other questions that I had buried began to reappear, no longer docile but ferocious, demanding an answer. Where did the Bible come from? Why didn’t the Bible claim to be “sufficient”? The Protestant answers that had held me over in the last year were no longer satisfying.

Jefferson Bethke’s viral YouTube video, “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus,” was released during this time. The young man meant well, but to me he only validated what the Wall Street Journal called “the dangerous theological anarchy of young evangelicals,” attempting to remove Jesus from the confines of religion but losing so much in the process.

Ash Wednesday was the tipping point. A hip Southern Baptist church in Louisville held a morning Ash Wednesday service and many students showed up to classes with ashes on their forehead. At chapel that afternoon, a professor renowned for his apologetic efforts against Catholicism expounded upon the beauty of this thousand year old tradition.

Afterwards, I asked a seminary friend why most evangelicals had rejected this beautiful thing. He responded with something about Pharisees and “man-made traditions.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

My resistance to Catholicism started to fade. I was feeling drawn to the sacraments, sacramentals, physical manifestations of God’s grace, the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. No more borrowing, no more denying.

It was the next day that I called my mom and told her I thought I was going to become Catholic.

I didn’t go to classes on Friday. I went to the seminary library and checked out books I had previously forbidden myself to look at too closely, like the Catechism and Pope Benedict’s latest. I felt like I was checking out porn. Later, I drove to a 5pm Saturday Mass. The gorgeous crucifix at the front of the church reminded me of when I had mused that crucifixes demonstrated that Catholics didn’t really understand the resurrection.

But I saw the crucifix differently this time and began crying. “Jesus, my suffering savior, you’re here.”

A peace came over me until Tuesday, when it yielded to face-to-windshield reality. Should I stay or leave? I had several panicked phone calls: “I literally have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow morning.”

On Wednesday morning I woke up, opened my laptop, and typed out “77 Reasons I Am Leaving Evangelicalism.” The list included things like sola scriptura, justification, authority, the Eucharist, history, beauty, and continuity between the Old and New Testament. The headlines and the ensuing paragraphs flowed from my fingers like water bursting from a centuries-old dam. 

A few hours later on February 29, 2012 I slipped out of Louisville, Kentucky, eager to not confuse anyone else and hoping I wasn’t making a mistake.  

The next few months were painful. More than anything else I felt ashamed and defensive, uncertain of how so much of my identity and career path could be upended so quickly. Nonetheless, I joined the Church on Pentecost with the support of my family and started looking for work.

So much has changed since then. I met Jackie on CatholicMatch.com that June, got married a year later, and celebrated the birth of our daughter, Evelyn, on March 3rd, 2014. We’re now in Indiana and I’m happy at my job.

I’m still very new on this Catholic journey. To all inquirers out there, I can tell you that my relationship with God has deepened and strengthened. As I get involved in our parish, I’m so thankful for the love of evangelism and the Bible that I learned in Protestantism.

I have not so much left my former faith as I have filled in the gaps. I thank God for the fullness of the Catholic faith.

[delchiante]

We had a smooth trip down from upstate NY..

I enjoyed the jimmy stewart museum in Indiana, pa down the road. Had to find something for my mom and dad to do instead of saying, okay, there are the groundhogs hanging out in their ‘zoo’, we’re done..

[Springfield Reformer]

Good post.

And this should be on everyone's reading list, whosoever wishes to know what the life of the churches of Rome was like during the first two centuries:

http://reformation500.com/2014/01/24/extended-review-of-peter-lampes-from-paul-to-valentinus/

It is a long read, but well worth the time spent.  It even gets argumentative in the comments after, so you get to see the information go through something of a trial by adversity.

The basic point coming out of Lampe's landmark project is that based on primary sources, he has been able to get a window on how, during the first two centuries, the churches in Rome had nothing remotely like a unified episcopate with a single top officer (called "monepiscopate").  Instead, what you had was a loosely federated collection of somewhere between 15 and 23 fairly significant house churches.  These evolved out of the synagogue pattern already present in the city, but became increasingly Gentile over time.  

There were multiple reasons they could not congregate in a more unified manner.  For one thing, of course they were hated as a new "superstition." But also they were predominantly found among the poor immigrant classes and had no capacity to buy or build large facilities.  Indeed, and I found this fascinating, one of the probable reasons they took the blame for the burning of Rome is that it was one of these major poor sections of town with many Christians that survived the fire mostly in tact.

In any event, there was during this period no unified, single bishop of Rome.  Lampe deals with the later lists proposed, and find them to be not intentional deceptions, but either not well grounded in primary source data (Irenaeus), or else not focused on a succession of persons so much as a succession of faithfulness to apostolic doctrine (Hegesippus).  The result of this lack of single leadership is what Lampe refers to as fractionation, and it is the central theme of his book.  Through the primary sources there emerges a collection of Christian churches in Rome with not only unifying themes of major doctrine but also a variety of liturgical approaches and disagreements about ... wait for it ... end times doctrine, among others.  Hmmm, where have we seen this picture before?

In addition, Lampe adduces evidence to show that during that period, the leadership was a plurality of presbyters (we would term elders), and no single bishop presiding over all.  Further, there was apparently a combination of both limited cooperation among these fellowships as well as some competition for dominance (Hmmm, never saw that coming).  One thing they did eventually have was an officer who acted as the financial manager for handling charitable contributions going out from Rome to pockets of Christians in other locales.  Lampe's information suggests this office was the evolutionary focal point from which the monarchical episcopate eventually emerged.  That didn't happen until the upper classes became interested in Christianity as not just a superstition, but a coherent philosophical system.  The added respectability brought in more money, from which better and better facilities were possible. leading eventually to a wealthier and more monolithic Christian presence come the beginning of the third century.

Obviously, there's a great deal more involved in the analysis.  This is a very brief introduction.  I went and got the book from Amazon. Fascinating reading.  Did you know some of our early Christian ancestors (by faith, not by dna) actually sold themselves into slavery to help provide financial relief to their brothers and sisters in need? Wow.

Peace,

SR

[Resettozero]

He (Jesus) was using hyperbole (exaggeration to make a point) to show the scribes and Pharisees how sinful and proud they were for not looking humbly to God as the source of all authority and fatherhood and teaching, and instead setting themselves up as the ultimate authorities, father figures, and teachers.

So, who wrote this piece? I guess it was not you and I know it wasn't the Holy Spirit.

[verga]

First 2 lines after your query.

Catholic.com

http://www.catholic.com/tracts/call-no-man-father

[delchiante]

I run to the verse, wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I am in the middle of them ...

I honestly don’t know if there are any churches that observe His calendar.

People don’t live by it. Governments don’t run by it.. business and schools don’t operate under it..

For the next three weeks, Gregorian Monday is His seventh day Sabbath..

Short of a catholic church, not sure what other churches hold a service daily that would just also coincide with His calendar. And having one every day will allow one to bump into His Sabbath.

It is a totally different way to live.. and I would not have been able to do this without Him..

He led me to quit my job for another before I knew any of this... the job I have now works perfectly in His calendar because no day is any different than the other..
But it isnt what I went to school for nor is it something someone just signs up for..
Amazing Grace indeed..

If someone presented this to me a couple years ago, I would have thought they were nuts..

I understand completely ...

[imardmd1]

Keep the versification out of the main body of the text, but at least cite to book and chapter. As well as translation/version. The modern versions based on W&H/CT often do not give the same reading or the same sense as English versions based on Vulgate or TR. Actually, you can't do a mixed-version Bible study without soon wondering what the passage actually says. Publishers always require a version statement.

[Resettozero]

Now I know it was neither you nor the Holy Spirit who contrived that long non-answer of a reply/response/post.

[Resettozero]

If someone presented this to me a couple years ago, I would have thought they were nuts...

I understand completely ...

I remember one particular Saturday evening back in the early '70s (or was it the late '60s), was with several friends and then it all came to me in a rush.

Voila and eureka! I totally understood how the universe came into being...PLUS...many many more very important things about life on earth. Unfortunately, I was unable to move my lips to form a coherent thought into an English sentence and so the moment passed into oblivion.

But I just absolutely knew how the Universe and everything worked, for a while that Saturday evening, with friends, in the mountains.

[delchiante]

I did a small study of what the sky looked like when Israel observed their Passover this year.

I was surprised to see some met in March (some messianic people)
Most of the rest met in April
And those who missed the April, they have another one in the month of May.(as commanded in Torah)

I looked at where the sun, moon and stars were for each date..

In March, the sun is just in between the Fish and the Water Bearer constellations. (Like that is where we are headed with the wobble)

In April, the sun is well into the Fish.

In May, the sun is in the Ram.

Those sound like astrology or junj until I looked at them with a biblical eye. There is history to people knowing that the Ram was located at the equinoxthousands of years ago.. the ram is all the way in May now, nowhere near that march 20 date..

If the first month begins with the Ram, it made the scales the 7th month.

If the first month begins with the two Fish, it made the woman the 7th month.

If the first month begins with the Water Bearer, it made the Lion the 7th.

That is exactly the story of scripture and His plan right in His sky, following when Israel would observe His Feasts in the 1st and 7th month as detailed in Torah.

The Ram/Lamb (1st Passover) and the scales/balances (Atonement) before the Messiah’s advent.

The two Fish (the gospel) and the woman (church/ virgin bride) after the Messiah’s death, burial and resurrection.

The water bearer (outpouring of Holy Spirit) and the Lion ( re
turn of the Lion of Judah) the prophecy concerning the end times.

Because of the wobble, we have been moving through the ‘ages’ at the same time His Word would appoint. And the heavens do declare His Glory.

We just spend more time looking down at our smart phones..

For Believers, this shouldn’t surprise us.He created it all. Scripture confirms He has ordained those creations.

what should worry us is how far we have allowed the world to rob Him of His Glory!

He is Worthy!

[delchiante]

I think He wants us to know..

I hope there are people out there thirsting to know ..ask seek and knock are commandments too to me.

Our finite brains have problems wrapping our heads around how perfect and how much unfathomable order there is. We look and see chaos and He sees His plan..

If you get that thought again, write it all down and share it!

[Resettozero]

If you get that thought again, write it all down and share it!

You got me. For a few seconds, I thought you were sincere.

[imardmd1]

The short and succinct version is that the object of the priesthood is to keep the lay people/individuals well under control psychologically. It's sort of like the officer class over other ranks. In the Army, the lowest butter-bar has authority over the wisest highest-rank NCO. Always. The Catholic Church TOE is thus organized, and the commissioned officer's title is "Father."

This is Nicolaitanism: nikao = to overcome or conquer; laoi = commoners, or lay people.

Jesus to the ruling elder of Ephesus church:

"But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate" (Rev 2:6 AV)

(Nicolaitans are those who wish to institute a priestly class after the type of the Jewish religion which God under the New Testament order has now dispensed with and negated.)

The catholic ecclesiology is unScriptural, IMHO.

[imardmd1]

“loosely federated collection” is excellent!

[verga]

You are wrong, and I will pray for both of you.

[Resettozero]

You are wrong, and I will pray for both of you.

Thanks verga, for setting me straight.

[Resettozero]

Terrifically informative post and something that has piqued an interest in me from time to time.

Rather than doing a Googlesearch, any one piece of writing you can recommend...regarding the Nicolaitans? Thanks, R2z

[delchiante]

I render to Caesar what is Caesars.

I missed a couple birthdays of friends because my mind isn’t on the worlds’ calendar.

My birthday was just a work day on our heavenly father’s calendar.. not set apart or anything.. I do have a Gregorian that I write over.. It has helped me realize how far off the world has become. (And up till two years ago, I was right with them !)

And it is interesting to me that we can know the birthdays of all of us, our leaders, famous people and yet have to guess what day the Savior was born on.

Scripture gives us His Birthday in revelation 12 but because of the earth’s wobble, His birth date that fell under a particular heavenly sign has moved in 2000 years.

The day is still the same though- the first day of the 6th month of His month - a new moon day in scripture which is one of the appointed times He gave Israel.

I actually had to ask someone what today to them was so I could write in on the check I had to deposit.
I would love to be able to put down the date that He has but the world would look at that banking instrument and may not know what to do with it since there are rules we must all abide by if we use a bank.

I don’t worry about the year..
Today is the 11th day of His month and the 3rd day of His week.
I can read scripture and not find any discrepancy with that counting. He numbers His days.. and Ezekiel 46 gives us the plainest ‘template’ to use..

That template is found in the Old Testament.
It is found in the New Testament.
It is found, with study, in the major life events of our Savior..

His major life events hit either a new moon day, sabbath or feast.
Birth, circumcision, dedication in the temple, baptism, death, burial resurrection.
All on either a new moon, weekly sabbath or feast.

And the bride can know it all.

And if we can know he hit on each of those perfectly, we can see what He hasn’t hit on yet and be prepared for His coming..

I can read Genesis and know what He created on His third day and think about it and thank Him all day..

Or can give Thor his day like the world does..

It is certainly a narrower path.. the world would look at me weird.. without Him, I wouldn’t be able to walk it.. and I don’t mind being called weird..

But it has led me to real Truth and studying real Genuine truth is the perfect antidote for spotting counterfeits, errors, lies..

I wouldn’t know what a counterfeit $20 bill would look like... my guess is it looks more like a genuine $20 than monopoly money..

Sometimes I have seen cashiers hold the money up to light.. and that is exactly what we can do.

[delchiante]

I want to know...
I am sincere... I have questions that I can’t make sense of yet and I know someone out there knows the answer or will..

I had a question that I was struggling with just the other day (and I had been struggling with it for months) and without knowing it, someone answered it for me and I was so grateful..

What I have been sharing here in the forum is stuff that He led me to.,
I have a lot of it written down but because I have been living it, it is almost embedded in me..

I am expecting people to knock my socks off with stuff that gives us clues to the mysteries of the universe...especially if it befuddles the world of science..

[editor-surveyor]

>> “Can someone do that without being a lover of the world?” <<

.
There is only one calendar in the world that melds all three calendars, Biblical, Jewish, and Gregorian, into the same pages: Michael Rood’s.

I suspect that his calendar has evolved to that because he lives in Jerusalem, where all three are needed daily to keep one’s head straight.

But it costs $30, so one has to want it bad to have it hanging everywhere.
.

[imardmd1]

FYI, a graphical representation of the heaven/world/hell divisions. The faitful thief's travels within a few days: The Mystery of the Grave and Hell