Posted on 11/11/2014 9:44:11 AM PST by fkabuckeyesrule
If you attend a church regularly, you’ve probably noticed the phenomenon. A guest shows up for a worship service, but he or she never returns. It is, unfortunately, a common issue in many churches.
I did a Twitter poll to ask these first-time guests why they chose not to return to a particular church. While some of the responses were anticipated, I admit being a bit surprised with some of them.
Though my poll is not scientific, it is nevertheless fascinating. Here are the top ten responses in order of frequency.
1.Having a stand up and greet one another time in the worship service. This response was my greatest surprise for two reasons. First, I was surprised how much guests are really uncomfortable during this time. Second, I was really surprised that it was the most frequent response.
2.Unfriendly church members. This response was anticipated. But the surprise was the number of respondents who included non-genuine friendliness in their answers. In other words, the guests perceived some of the church members were faking it.
3.Unsafe and unclean children’s area. This response generated the greatest emotional reactions. If your church does not give a high priority to children, don’t expect young families to attend.>P>
4.No place to get information. If your church does not have a clear and obvious place to get information, you probably have lowered the chances of a return visit by half. There should also be someone to greet and assist guests at that information center as well.
5.Bad church website. Most of the church guests went to the church website before they attended a worship service. Even if they attended the service after visiting a bad website, they attended with a prejudicial perspective. The two indispensable items guests want on a website are address and times of service. It’s just that basic.
6.Poor signage. If you have been attending a church for a few weeks, you forget all about the signage. You don’t need it any more. But guests do. And they are frustrated when it’s not there.
7.Insider church language. Most of the respondents were not referring to theological language as much as language that only the members know. My favorite example was: “The WMU will meet in the CLC in the room where the GAs usually meet.”
8.Boring or bad service. My surprise was not the presence of this item. The surprise was that it was not ranked higher.
9.Members telling guests that they were in their seat or pew. Yes, this obviously still takes place in some churches.
10.Dirty facilities. Some of the comments: “Didn’t look like it had been cleaned in a week.” “No trash cans anywhere.” Restrooms were worse than a bad truck stop.” “Pews had more stains than a Tide commercial.”
There you have it. The top ten reasons first-time guests said they did not return to a church. I can’t wait to hear from you readers. You always have such good additions and insights.
I don’t. I have always been an extrovert. When I was 3 and my sister was 2, we sang duets a a small church we attended. After a few years, we added 2 girl cousins. I can say, I have never, ever met a stranger. Just friends I had not met. I can talk to anyone. I remember back in the 1980’s, I went to Las Vegas with my husband to a computer convention. I was not feeling well but I wanted to go to the exhibit. My husband found a small quiet room so I could sit down. A man walked in and we started talking. He was leaving the room when my husband walked in. H looked at me and asked if I knew the man. I said of course not. Turned out he was President of one of the largest computer companies. I did not care. He put his pants on just like anyone else. I read a lot so I can talk to just about anyone about their interests. I love people and try to be nice to everyone. I do not care what their job is as long as it is honest. And, they treat me the same way. My daughter and I went to the Gator Bowl to see State play. I found a wonderful hotel on the river. I called to make reservations. My daughter was amazed that they gave me the direct line to the hotel in Jacksonville. I am just a sweet 70 year old!! : )
I chuckle a bit at this because I do not appreciate the guitar music at Catholic mass.
I am guessing that you don’t mean this seriously because while I agree, I wouldn’t let it keep me from attending church.
***** “Our pastor greets us with a handshake as we leave the sanctuary.” *****
My Dr. shakes my hand every time we meet, but he washes his hands right after he examines me, then asks how many beers I have in my cooler in the back of the truck, are they iced? Because he has a game to go to that evening. Probably going to the game with my Pastor.
I like folks with a sense of humor, so I moved to Texas.
TT
So I turn around and politely, I think, informed him that no one else was interested in his car stuff and axed him to knock it off.
The dude went into a tirade and invited me to fist city after the service.
So we left.
I went to one church where the signage was good but all they did was serve chicken. The chicken was good but they took up a collection every time I wanted a piece.
The good news is that they worship seven days a week.
I’ve been lucky in that the churches had the good sense to avoid the ‘frightful folkies’ but local access cable always seems to have a channel with rudimentary discordant strumming.
Good for you.
JW?
While no one should comment or give dirty looks when people put nothing in church collection baskets, I do think this woman sounds lame for not throwing some change in the basket.
is there a list of FR pastors? Do they have these issues at their churches?
I visited a Jehovah’s Witness “Kingdom Hall”. They don’t do “meet and greet”, they don’t pass the plate, the place was spotless
Obviously I did not become one of them but they had a lot of good points. (not their theology)
No, more mainstream than that, believe it or not.
Thanks for your interesting survey, although your list is 0 for 10 at my TLM:
1.Having a stand up and greet ... - There’s NO TALKING in church. Socialize afterwards.
2.Unfriendly church members - Some are more outgoing; some less so. Everyone is polite.
3.Unsafe unclean children’s area. - There is no separate children’s area, but LOTS of kids.
4.No place to get information. - There’s a bookstore staffed by volunteer.
5.Bad church website. - Website exists but generally not needed.
6.Poor signage. - Sign on building tells exactly what needs to be known.
7.Insider church language. - Just ordinary Catholic faith.
8.Boring or bad service. - Mass is consistently excellent.
9.telling guests ... in their seat or pew. - Reserved seating not available.
10.Dirty facilities. - Not spotless, but tidy and clean enough.
I dislike the “greet your neighbor” moment, plus when the pastor says, “turn to your neighbor and say ________.”
I visited a church and never returned, because during the dreaded “greet your neighbor” time this woman insisted on hugging me, even though I asked her not to. She said, “oh you need a hug” and did it anyway. It was creepy and couldn’t wait to get out of there. Please, people, when someone tells you they have issues with close physical contact with strangers, respect that.
LOL surprised he didn’t try to start punching you right there from the pew!
Well, you do sound like a wonderful person. Bless you.
People like me are wired entirely differently regarding social interaction. Where you generally find it soothing and comforting we react as though we are allergic to it. Heart rate and blood pressure rise, stress hormones released, chronic conditions exacerbated, etc. Does make life rather challenging.
I have known people who can not stand being around strangers. They can not talk, etc. I can stand in a line somewhere and talk to people around me. We usually find some common ground. I am just odd that way. When we went to the Gator Bowl a few years ago, my daughter went to get snacks. When she came back, I told her I met some new friends sitting behind us. She just shook her head and said, “why am I not surprised?”. I am really blessed. But, get me and a speech together, I am the one who gets tongue tied!!! I can sing but not talk! Very odd.
My doctors also do handshakes.
My pastor probably shakes 120 hands per Sunday.
He seems to be pretty resistant to the colds people come to church with.
Moving to Texas sounds great. I am in Wisconsin. Hey, the weather is horrible but we finally have an awesome governor!
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