Thank-you. I suppose it is usually easier for us. Most parishes are pretty much “the village” and we all tend to know each other’s situations. Even if we don’t as lay people, the priest knows. But again, our parishes tend to be small and very close knit, though even in big parishes it is expected that someone attending regularly will register and part of that process is social and religious history so the priest will know. I once watched a young fellow strut into church with his very pregnant, then girlfriend now wife, on his arm. At the appropriate time he approached for communion and the priest refused him. Saw a priest do it to an openly gay couple once also. I honestly don’t think “gay marriage”, licensed or otherwise has anything to do with it for us. Marriage is a sacrament of The Church. Everything else is at best adultery.
Right, in a traditional localized parish things are easier. Note, however, that a "very pregnant" girlfriend is just as much a public scandal as a gay "married" couple, so you did not provide a contrasting example. But there are two peculiarly Western circumstances here: (1) Roman Catholics especially in metropolitan areas attend not the canonical district parish but rather the parish the parish that resonates with them; (2) when a Roman Catholic refuses communion for any reason at all, it's instantly in the media and a national issue.